The True Tale of Santa the Zombie Slayer (Naughty and Nice)

So, here’s the good news. Santa is real. Bad news... so are zombies.

Sounds crazy right? Then again, so does looking forward to an old guy breaking into your house every year in his pyjamas to raid your cookie jar and watch you sleep. Yet here we are.

Take a peek at the rotten underbelly of the typically impotent Christmas Carol. A world where Santa is really a superpowered beefcake on a mission of vengeance to slaughter some undead a-holes who thought a Mrs Claws-sized chew toy was a brilliant idea.

Now with a naughty list swelling faster than an anaphylactic chewing a peanut, the bearded reaper must ride his dragon-powered sleigh to bloody war against a zombie army that threatens the world, and the old friend who betrayed him. But as he decks the halls with blood and bodies, it seems even in this nightmare, a jolly bedtime story can be found. Because no matter how dark the war that wages in the shadows, come Christmas night, children and Santaphiles everywhere will still scramble to bed in the hopes that their hero pops in for a visit.

So, crack open the eggnog and settle in for the neurological equivalent of tooth decay as this bizarre origin story spews its madness across the page. Battling witches, wolves, dragons and the things in the title, The True Tale of Santa the Zombie Slayer is a whirlwind of action, adventure and comedy that is sure to give your sleighbells a jingle.