Two Gentlemen Sharing

An Excerpt

"At Mrs. Sugar's"

"Have you heard, my dears? The Hall House is sold at last." Mrs. Sugar was slicing ham with studied concentration as she made this announcement. The recipient of the meat, a woman with a distant, distracted expression and clothes to match, was more intent on the carving than on the speaker but the other customers crowded into the little shop all responded with satisfying interest.

"Really, Mrs. Sugar?" exclaimed a woman in jodhpurs and tweed hacking jacket. "Do we know who?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Daltry, that I have so far not been able to ascertain," Mrs. Sugar replied with the carefully assumed vowels she saved for her favoured customers. "My informant, Miss Briggs at Lashams," the local estate agent, "seemed to think that the purchaser was a gentleman from London."

"Oh Lord! Not another commuter?" Heather Daltry groaned. "The village is becoming nothing more than a dormitory. One can scarcely breathe for exhaust fumes between six thirty and eight, morning and evening."

Meanwhile, the woman at the counter was trying to catch the carver's attention.

"That's more than enough," she said in an agitated voice.

"I'll just give you this one delicious slice, my dear," Mrs. Sugar told her, cutting it extra thick. "The Brigadier will come back for more tonight, Mrs. Jerrold, I'll be bound. Like Oliver Twist he'll be. And no wonder! My ham is the talk of the county on account of the secret ingredient I put in the water." As she spoke she was now wrapping the meat in grease proof paper. Then laying the little parcel on the scales she gave them a sharp rap with her clenched fist. "Drat these scales! They stick, you know."

Heather Daltry turned and raised her eyes in a way loaded with meaning. The slender woman in a flowing cloak standing behind her frowned.

"You should have them checked, Mrs. Sugar," she announced, making a statement rather than a suggestion.

"I've had them checked, Mrs. Simpson," Mrs. Sugar replied indignantly. "A man from the ministry came himself."

"It's Ms.," Diana Simpson said impatiently. "I've told you that before."

"Yes," Mrs. Sugar agreed, wiping her hands on her overall skirt. "I dare say as it is, but not round here, dear. That's all a bi

If Angela Thirkell's quaint English countryside were invaded by a camp Tom Sharpe, the result would be William Corlett's (Now and Then) second novel. The entire stodgy, gossipy village of Bellingford is curious about the new owners of grand Hall House, "two gentlemen sharing," and what this euphemism implies. London playwright Richard Charteris (called, aptly, "Rich"), doubly blessed with an inheritance and a hit play, Manhattan Boh me, has acquired the stately house as a home for himself and his new young lover, actor-model-nothing-in-particular "Bless" Maynard-- without giving much thought as to what his neighbors might think. When Rich leaves to close a Broadway deal, however, Bless's attempts to fit into village life throw the local reactionaries, eccentrics and busybodies into a collective tizzy. With its gay twist--Bless and Rich aren't the only characters with alternative lifestyles--this casually witty tale expands the boundaries of the typical Home Counties comic novel. Moving along at the brisk pace of a West End farce, the novel also co-opts the stock characters of that genre, featuring country types like Doris Day, a droll charwoman who is much savvier than her dim-witted employers; Bessie Sugar, a meddlesome shopkeeper; and Brigadier Jerrold, a conservative retired brigadier who cross-dresses and passes as his own sister, "Phyllis." Other villagers include Laurence Fielding, a crotchety closeted architect; Maggie Heston, a histrionic and uncensored actress; and a drop-dead gorgeous Italian and his hot-blooded lesbian sister. Assorted slapstick subplots converge on a skinhead-attended road show-turned-brawl and a dance recital, as this breezily light entertainment floats to a happy conclusion. (Oct.)

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