Two Great Tits on the Front and a Shag up the Last —: The Unexpurgated Golf Letters of Mortimer Merriweather

Once described as the worst golfer never to have won a major, Mortimer Merriweather is a complex character with virtually nothing to show for 60 years of golf at the lowest level.
Decades of abject failure to strike the ball properly undoubtedly fuelled his frustration and led ultimately to him venting his ire on individuals, companies and organisations connected with the game of golf in a remarkable series of letters which are rather provocative, frequently offensive but always absurdly amusing.
Apart from causing considerable consternation in clubhouses right around the globe, nothing more would have happened were it not for the intervention of Mortimer’s occasional playing partner, Clive Agran.
A gifted writer with an elegant shoulder turn but dreadful short-game, Clive regularly contributes to a number of golf publications and was once rumoured to have had more columns than the Parthenon. He evidently enjoys greater success with his pen than he does with his putter and was presented with the ‘St Andrew’s Festival Golf Humour Award’ in 2012.
Anyway, following a particularly crushing defeat in the opening round of the Dale Hill Mid-Winter Foursomes Trophy and a bottle of Madeira, the hapless pair resolved to strike back by unsettling the world of golf by publishing Mortimer’s letters.
Then along came another struggling hacker, Tony Husband. Perhaps most famous for creating the Yobs in Private Eye, the 18-handicapper has added his own humorous perspective by contributing some cracking cartoons.
Make no mistake, this book will rock the world of golf as much as you will shake with laughter when reading it.


"Unquestionably the funniest golf book I have read. To be honest, I do not know if there are other golf books, but if there are, I am sure they are not as funny as this one." Giles Coren - Times columnist, restaurant critic and TV presenter