It's true that some older women, especially those with more life experience, may see visiting a girlfriend’s house — especially when she’s not picking calls — as a bold or serious move, not necessarily bad. They might say, “She’s an adult; her family won’t marry her,” meaning that as an adult, Olaoluwa is expected to make her own decisions about relationships, and if she’s serious about you, your visit shouldn’t be a problem.

However, there are two sides to consider:

Why Some May Say Your Visit Was Justified:

She wasn’t picking your calls: You wanted clarity and peace, and in your mind, the visit was a way to show effort or seriousness.
She’s an adult: So some may argue she should be able to handle adult conversations and relationships.
You traveled from far (Oshodi): That shows effort, which older people might interpret as love and commitment.
You didn’t go to fight or disrespect: If you were calm and respectful, some might not see anything wrong.

Why Others May Say It Was Risky or Wrong:

She didn’t invite you or give consent: Showing up unannounced can feel like pressure or boundary-crossing, especially if the relationship was already shaky.
Her family may see it as disrespect: Even though she’s an adult, many families in Nigeria still expect a certain level of formality or respect.
Sleeping over without agreement: If she wasn’t okay with you sleeping over or didn’t invite you to do so, it may have made her feel uncomfortable or embarrassed before her family.

Final Thought:
Even if you meant well, her reaction and her family's response are what matter most. If they felt disrespected or uncomfortable, it may have affected how they see you now. That said, if you truly went with love and calm intentions, some people — including Olaoluwa herself in time — may come to understand your reason.

Let me know if you'd like to draft a respectful message that could clear the air or express your side without pressure.

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