In the Wake of Death: Surviving the Loss of a Child

A father shares his despair, anger, and grief over the murder of his teenage daughter and draws on his own beliefs about God, religion, good and evil, guilt, and forgiveness to explain how he came to terms with the devastating tragedy. Tour. IP.

In June 1991, Berlyn Cosman was shot to death while asleep with her date in the "quiet room" rented from the hotel by 14 high-school students for use after their senior prom, in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Her assailant, a 19-year-old high-school dropout named Paul, was later tried, found guilty of second-degree murder and sentenced to 15 years to life. In this heartrending but uplifting tale, her father, a vice-president of Volunteers of America in Los Angeles, recounts his attempts to come to terms with the loss of his daughter. One of the greatest obstacles in his path is the shattered faith in the goodness of God that he had hardly questioned since his youth. Since his daughter's death, Cosman has painstakingly dissected that faith and groped toward an understanding of the tragedy that struck his family. After much searching and philosophical reflection poignantly communicated here, he finds that "the greatest power a human has lies in interpreting life." This book should help those who have lost a loved one to violence.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Both authors have lost young adult daughters: Crider's daughter died in a fire, and Cosman's was shot by an acquaintance. Both fathers were prosperous professionals, and both daughters were happily pursuing their dreams when they unexpectedly died. Now the fathers have written very personal narratives of their grieving experiences. Crider, who drew the title for his book from Macbeth, offers the more sophisticated, even occasionally self-indulgent, of the two books. Presented in a journal format, it differs from most narratives of this type in his grappling with the eschatological dilemmas of his nonbelief in the Judeo-Christian tradition. Though the reader will empathize with his grief, Crider's sometimes awkward style-he frequently shifts from first- to third-person-can be distracting. Cosman's journal also addresses his disbelief in traditional religious explanations of injustice and death. Because he is dealing with a violent loss, he addresses other issues of broad concern today. In addition, he uses biographical information from his own childhood to clarify the evolution of his beliefs, making this telling of his journey through the grieving process far more readable. Similar to Ruth Coughlin's Grieving: A Love Story (Random, 1993), these books are neither instructional nor inspirational but are personal journals meant to provide solace via feelings of solidarity. Libraries with little or nothing on the subject should also consider more practical guides such as Candy Lightner's Giving Sorrow Words: How To Cope with Grief and Get on with Life (Warner, 1991) or Helen Fitzgerald's The Mourning Handbook (LJ 9/15/94).
A. Arro Smith, San Marcos P.L., Tex.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.