Wedded Strangers: The Challenges of Russian-American Marriages

Despite the often strained relations between their countries, for years hundreds of American and Russian journalists, diplomats, performers, students, scientists, businessmen and tourists have sought -- and continue to seek -- romance and marriage on the other side of the ocean. Russian-American marriages reflect many of the same issues and problems that other inter-cultural marriages do, but at the same time, there are challenges that are particular to unions between Russians and Americans. In this fascinating study of the issues that these couples must confront, Dr. Lynn Visson explores such questions as: Why are Americans and Russians so intensely attracted to each other? What do they expect from romance and marriage? For better or worse, how do they live together? Why do these couples have such frequent misunderstandings when they are fluent in each other's language? With numerous examples and case studies garnered from ten years of research and interviews with nearly 100 couples, the author provides significant and often startling insights into the unique challenges and problems facing Russian-American couples.

The Cold War may have officially ended, but, as Visson shows, the battle lives on in the culturally dysfunctional marriages made by Russians and Americans. Throughout the 20th century, and often against serious odds, Russians and Americans have been falling in love and marrying. Visson, an interpreter and writer, herself married to a Russian, has interviewed some 100 of these cross-cultural couples and researched the lives of couples in the earlier part of this century in an effort to understand the strange mutual attraction between people whose countries were usually antagonists. While rational explanations can only partly answer questions about romance (though at different times Russians and Americans have decidedly held romantic notions of each other), extensive interviews offer a sometimes painful, sometimes hilarious window onto the daily challenges of these marriages. Visson's subjects range from Isadora Duncan and poet Sergei Esenin to Lee and Marina Oswald, and finally to a more frequently cited group of contemporary couples. The earlier couples lend historical interest to what is otherwise a sociological study. The contemporary couples are more familiar types (often virtually stereotypes)their interests and circumstances focus far more on material rather than ideological matters. Visson's bumpy narrative jumps from couple to couple in a variety of chapters dealing with finding a spouse, adapting to one's new situation, and the challenging process of living as a cross-cultural couple. Visson discusses everything with them, from sex to in-laws and eating habits, and many of the responses are memorable. Commenting on American style, one Russian husband yells at his wife, ``All you American females yapping about liberation, always in a rushyou look as if you came off the garbage heap! No wonder you couldn't find an American husband!'' Some stay together despite serious differences, but many divorce (including, you guessed it, the above-cited couple). Conclusion: Americans are from Saturn, Russians are from Uranus. -- Copyright ©1998, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Marriages and other relationships between Russian and American nationals have been occurring for many years, even during the depths of the Cold War. Prominent individuals such as Susan Eisenhower (Breaking Free, LJ 5/15/95), Lee Harvey Oswald, and ballerina Gelsey Kirkland have occasionally brought the issue to public attention. Visson, a student of Russian culture married to a Russian, has gone beyond such public figures to interview nearly 100 couples representing many possible variations (living in the United States or in Russia, happily married or bitterly divorced), grouping their pitfalls into categories, such as different tastes, customs concerning food and entertaining, expectations, and communication styles. Her findings are long on human interest but short on analysis, with the result that it does not become clear how Russian American marriages stand out from other transnational unions. Nevertheless, this well-researched and lively title will interest lay readers.?Marcia L. Sprules, Council on Foreign Relations Lib., New York
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.