CHAPTER 1

LIVE

I am thankful for all of those who said NO to me. It's because of them I'm doing it myself.

— Albert Einstein

The first quote is by "Person of the Century," according to Time Magazine. This quote has several messages for the reader. Let's take it piece by piece to make sure we get every drop of this genius' intended message.

Do you remember the last time you asked for something and the answer was no? It could be anything, a mortgage, a plea to God or the universe, or even a simple request for a favor. Remember the exact way that you felt at the time of the "No." Most likely you felt a bit deflated or upset, a completely normal human emotional response. It is what you did with that emotional response that matters most.

First, it is important to recognize that most people do not want to say no. The majority of people in the world want to help and please others, and they want to say yes. Some people, myself included, have actually had to learn how to say no to the requests of others when the request is not in their own best interest - and some of us are still trying to fully grasp that lesson. So when a person, friend, or stranger, has the internal strength to report to you in a kind way that your request cannot be granted, maybe the first feeling after disappointment should be respect. We, as a nation, and as a people must come to understand that when we too often put others needs in front of our own we can deteriorate our own well being. In this state, it will eventually be impossible for us to help anyone. Put the mask on yourself first, and then help as many of those around you as you can.

Second is the fact that in life we must respect all universal answers; even the ones that do not bring instant gratification. We must accept them because there are no coincidences or mistakes in the universe. It is our perception of "No" that creates the negative emotion. Did you ever play that game where no means yes and yes means no on "opposite day"? As fun, and silly as it may seem, it really brings about a valid point about perception. Perception is everything. It is one of the defining characteristics that helps us control what we do with our emotions. Just imagine for a moment that you were assured that every time someone answered "No" to you, that something great was about to happen in your life - guaranteed! Something unimaginably better would be waiting for you within 24 hours after the answer came. It would go something like this, "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Smith, we cannot approve your mortgage today." And the next day Mr. and Mrs. Smith won the lottery! That is a rather simplified example, but don't you think that people would be standing in line, waiting with baited breath for someone to say no to them? The irony is that in a roundabout way, that really is how life works. A NO is almost always a path to something better, even though it is not immediately apparent.

Third and lastly, it is the "No's" in life that motivate us as human beings to do great things, to achieve the next level. It is the no's that truly make life worth living. Einstein mentions his gratitude to those who have told him no, and if I had to guess I don't think there is any sarcasm or bitterness in that statement. It is truly just as important to thank those who say no to us, as it is to thank those who say yes. We are most grateful and learn the most from those things in life that are not easy, from the no's.

This week look for opportunities to remember that "no" can open doors and possibilities unforeseen to the naked eye. On the receiving end, trust that the answer you are getting is the appropriate one. Be grateful for that answer, and willing to follow wherever it might lead. Today's disappointment could be tomorrow's victory. Change your perception regarding a circumstance that you might normally be very upset about. See it in a new way, and find the opportunity you might not have otherwise seen. Find a way to express your gratitude for that opportunity.

On the giving end be generous, but make yourself a promise not stretch yourself too thin. Do not be afraid to put yourself first, remembering that your well being will allow you to help many more people in a more effective way. Do not be afraid to say "no". Realize that you might be giving someone the best gift they have ever received.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

We have all heard the is quote by Emerson, and it never gets old! Life itself is a journey. The key to life is to remember that our destination is not the most important part. When you finally arrived at the vacation spot of your dreams, the gigantic desk on the top floor corner office, or even the foreign country where you'll hold your new adopted child for the first time, how long before the nostalgia wears off and you are seeking your next destination? For most of us the answer is - not long.

Destinations are merely carrots dangled on a string that urge the rabbit in us through the all important journeys of life. Without the carrot we might never embark on our journey; but our largest misconception might be overvaluing the importance of the carrot. Once the journey begins, it is extremely important to be present and in the now of every day, every hour, minute and second of the journey, for that is where the heart lives.

Once our journey is chosen, how do we begin? How many of us have procrastinated at the beginning, unsure which path to choose, which route to take? Some people take the path of least resistance, others the most beautiful, still others choose to punish themselves with the most destructive path - but what is the right path?

Emerson's quote tells us not to take a path. Do not stand before your journey looking for a path that has already been carved or worn, for that is not your journey, but the journey of another. Look in your own heart and forge a path that is custom to you, for no other path will suit you quite as well. The options are limitless, and the journey on a path not yet created is unique and priceless.

Creating our own path is an act of courage like no other. It requires extreme trust in ourselves and faith in our higher power. It requires support and encouragement from our loved ones and friends. There will likely be times that are not so easy, and times full of great joy, and happiness. Sometimes our next step will not be clear, and we may need to ask for help. Other times we might be called upon to help another on their journey. At times we will choose walk together with another, sharing our path, sometimes leading and other times following; and other times we will walk by ourselves, though it is important to note that we will never walk alone.

Assistance is always available. The universe in its ever abundance, will find a way. Ask and you shall receive. It is not our job to know where the help will come from, but only to expect it and to accept it when it arrives.

We have been chosen and molded for our unique journey. Whether or not we are aware of it, we all have the tools to travel to the places we are intended to go. Sometimes we will get lost, only to find that our journey is about something completely different than we originally intended. Other times we will choose to begin again, as our chosen journey is no longer relevant. Perspective is required, as each journey will have mountain peaks, lush valleys and barren deserts, one no better than the other. Remember that your greatest gift could come in the middle of a barren desert!

We are a world of journeying souls whose paths inevitably cross each other unendingly. This week, honor your soul by creating a path that works specifically for you.

Remember to help someone else on their journey in some way and let another help you on yours. Constantly and consistently evaluate your journey and all the little signs that speak to you on the way. Pay less attention to the carrot and more attention to the roses you are passing right now. Leave a trail in case you need to re-route or be found. Be present, be kind, and be steady. Trust in your journey and enjoy the path.

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.

– Aristotle

How many of us would consider ourselves "people pleasers"? It would be a safe assumption that at one time or another in all of our lives whether applicable to work, friendships, acquaintances, or family, we have all worn that particular title. Aristotle himself may have noticed his own propensity toward this particular phenomenon when he created this quote. But where is the necessity or the value in spending our lives trying to make others happy?

The first thing that should be noted is that hard as we might try, we can't really understand another person enough to please them 100% of the time. As an aside, often people do not know themselves well enough to know what will make them happy all of time. We all have memories in our lives of specific examples when something we were sure would make us happy did not, or vice versa. Often those things that might make a person "happy" are temporary fixes, not something necessarily good for them in the long run. Happiness is also a mere perception, varying from one person to another. Unless it is true happiness, which can be disturbed by very little, it is fleeting and based on superficiality.

Noting these ideas, it is necessary to come to the realization that there is only one person we can predict well enough to fulfill the happiness quotient, at least part of the time - and that is ourselves. When we bring contentment and joy into our own lives, often we also light the lives of those around us. This does not mean that any change we make would or should be at the expense of another, but that happiness and contentment is usually contagious.

On the road to contentment there will always be those who might find fault, criticize, or even sabotage our path. The quote is pointing to the realization that there is also very little that can be done about it. A critical person will criticize, for that may be their nature, but more than likely, the critic has not made the journey down the path to happiness for themselves.

This journey we are taking in life is an individual journey, yet it is consistently intertwined with those around us. If we spend our lives catering to the likes and dislikes of others we may never find our own true purpose. If we spend our lives living for others we might never understand the joy of living ourselves.

As it usually turns out, when an individual chooses the right path, it makes them happy. It steadies them on the path of their own journey, creating contentment and peace. Because energy is constantly radiating outward into the universe, the peace and contentment one person feels will spread to another. When we see others gladly enjoying their own path, it makes us want to do the same for ourselves.

This week, choose to be yourself, to speak out, and to practice life in a way that makes you happy. Disregard comments, and criticism, and know that being true to yourself is extremely important. Speak your mind in that meeting, talk to that individual you always wanted to speak with, do that something you've been putting off for fear of criticism from another. Realize that life and opportunities are fleeting, and other people's opinions are just that - their opinions. Give yourself the gift to do, say and be your very best - regardless of what others might think!

What is faith worth if it is not translated into action?

— Gandhi

Faith is a powerhouse! Various types of faith include, but are not limited to, faith in a person, a higher power, or even a future outcome. Faith can empower, destroy, bring about love or, when misplaced, even its opposite. But why do we need faith? And can faith move mountains as we have so often heard?

Everyone believes in something. Even an atheist would have to have faith that the sun will rise tomorrow. Faith comes in so many forms and can, at times, be so completely elusive. It begins as a spark, a mere thought or lingering hope, but can grow into a strong force, changing lives and acting as a binding agent for people, communities, religions, and countries alike.

A wonderful starting point when speaking about faith is the placebo effect. This amazing phenomenon occurs when a person who believes they are given a substance, supposedly effective for a particular ailment or discomfort, actually experiences recovery or relief due to their faith that the substance would be effective. The placebo effect has an extremely impressive resume! This effect has been said to work for humans and animals alike in cases of depression, addiction, and many, many more ailments - including cancer!

How does the placebo effect work? According to many, the placebo effect can be easily related to quantum physics, where energy vibration is a dominant factor. Quantum physics (or quantum mechanics), as it will be discussed many times in this book, is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as a branch of physics that deals with the structure and behavior of very small pieces of matter (namely atoms and protons). Thoughts have energy, which possibly lead to words, which may or may not lead to actions. Each step taken has more powerful energy depending upon the amount of emotion involved. The more emotion involved, the more energy created. When a person consumes a substance that they believe will affect their life in a positive way, quantum mechanics begin working immediately. Powerful beliefs lead to powerful conscious or unconscious choices, which lead to fascinating results.

Let's say it is revealed than an individual has a terminal condition and the doctor, as often might happen, reveals to this person that he/she has a limited amount of time to live. At this juncture the individual has a couple of choices: assume that doctor is correct, the disease will take over, time is limited and life is due to end, or, choose to believe that the doctor is incorrect, that there is always hope, there is so much to live for, it is not time to die, and there is a cure. Each choice assumes a position of faith, neither being correct or incorrect. Each position of faith could lead to particular choices in living, breathing, eating, loving, appreciating and being. In short, each position of faith can produce a particular action - get busy living or get busy dying.

As related to our quote by Gandhi, getting busy living is a demonstration of the action of faith and so is its opposite. A person makes a choice and proceeds with the appropriate actions for that course. The quote makes the point that if this particular person heard the doctors news, but believed they were to live, and yet did not change their ways, then what good is believing that they will live? What good is that belief without action? When faith is not provided with the opportunity to thrive through action, its power is limited.

This week, each day decide on just one ideal, person, or subject that you have faith in, and follow your faith with action. You might choose the same subject for each day of the week. After deciding, create an action demonstrating your faith. The size of your action does not matter, it is the faith directed energy that moves mountains. Continue to act on your faith, possibly taking it to a whole new level, and allowing it to blossom and grow into something truly meaningful. You may be very surprised at what you will accomplish!

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

– Christopher Columbus

Familiar is comfortable, and unfamiliar, obviously its opposite. "Family," the root of familiar, implies that which is known, that in which we are grounded. Family and familiar are those concepts that make us feel at home, safe, serene, relaxed and easy, allowing us to recharge and replenish our soul energy. Those familiar people, surroundings, and items, whether they be siblings, friends, cousins, home locations, sacred objects, groups or organizations, are an absolute necessity. But what happens when we live our entire life in the familiar? What happens when we choose not to step outside of the boundaries of the comfortable and known?

Every great discovery and advancement known to man today required stepping out of the familiar to consider something new and different. If you really think about it, even the courting of a significant other and the birth of a child required leaving the circle of comfort. As recognized in this quote by Christopher Columbus, leaving the familiar does take courage. It takes a leap of faith, a walk into that which is not known, and that is at least one of the reasons that we, as humans, are here.

As often happens, this particular quote relates closely to another of my favorite quotes: "If you change nothing, nothing changes." Having the courage to leave the familiar and enter what might seem the abyss of the unfamiliar, will change your life. If you wake up tomorrow and do the exact same thing you did today, there is a 99% chance that everything will turn out the same way. As nice and comfortable as sameness might seem, it does not help us with our purposes of learning, growing and experiencing.