Welcome Home, Macho Man - A PTSD Life (Paperback or Softback)

How does a Macho Man become a Macho Man? And what does he do with himself after getting to play "god" as a Vietnam War Commanding Officer of a Rifle Company in combat? This sequel to "Welcome to Vietnam, Macho Man" digs deep into the mind of a Khe Sanh vet. The author, Ernest Spencer, opens up and shares with the world his life experiences from both before and after surviving the longest battle in the Vietnamese War - 77 non-stop days of combat in Khe Sanh.

Ernie offers a historical recount of growing up in a bi-racial family in Hawaii, loving and learning from ever present parents, grandparents and extended family and being exposed to military exercises, and heroism from a very early age.

How does wartime service change a person?

Ernest shares his struggles with finding a place to fit back into the American Dream. Some, like the author, transition back into society very well in the eyes of the world, yet the demons deep inside are grappled with daily. Ernest's undiagnosed PTSD creates havoc in his life. He feels ashamed of himself for surviving the battle of Khe Sanh while he observed so many around him perish. His silence and the sequestering of his feelings inside causes chaos and destruction in his life.

Some veterans cannot make the transition back into their former everyday life and spend a large part of their post-war lives suffering outwardly, struggling with drug addiction, and consequently being rejected/ignored by the community around them. Ernest discovers many of these veterans and retells his attempts to rehabilitate and empower them to be healthy and productive adults. Who really stands up and supports veterans with post-war mental illnesses and what are their methods? Enjoy this book, think deeply, and give praise to our brave young soldiers and all that they've endured for our country.

Ernest Spencer is a Hawaiian born Korean American. Born in the mid 1940's, he joined the Marine Corps Reserve in 1963.

During his second year in college, where he was studying philosophy, he "was overwhelmed by the futility of reason as an effective force in life." Disillusioned by reason, his life did not make sense to him. He was drawn to the Marine Corps by the sense of belonging. The Corps also offered him the chance to confront life rather than read about it. Spencer states, "I could confront life by going to the edge, or at least what I perceived as the edge: Existence itself."

In 1967, he was sent to lead a line unit (an infantry unit) that is at Khe Sanh, the 1st Battalion, 26th Marine Regiment. There were four rifle companies in this infantry battalion: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and Delta. Spencer commanded Delta. He recalls "you have got to understand what it means to a 24-year-old guy who's macho to be made a commanding officer of a rifle company in combat. He is Jesus Christ himself." He was also the first Korean American to command a marine rifle company in combat.

Since his time in Vietnam, Spencer founded a publishing company.

Now, after enjoying retirement, he has founded a non-profit to support education in his beloved Hawaii. He is now writing a historical fiction trilogy and self-narrating his books for the audio book market.

And keeping his softball skills up!