Still Welcome, Still Sorry: The second year of traumatic child loss

Two years.
There have been some hallmark moments, but most of it has been raw. The first year was filled with numbness and questions. The second year was a time of self-evaluation and adjustment. Recreating a shattered identity. Finding a new purpose. Learning self-care. Accepting that my life was not the way I had envisioned it, but that it was what I was given and what I needed to work with.
Many people say the second year is harder. I say it is different. The numbness which protected us is gone. We have had time to absorb our loss and strengthen ourselves for what we need to do next-heal.
Once again I did not make this journey alone. As you go with me through my second year, you are also journeying with hundreds of other parents who lost children through addiction/suicide/mental illness who bring their own perspective and insight, and whose comments and questions inspired many of the things I’ve written. It is my story, but it is also their story, and in many ways I believe you will find it to be your story as well.
The first year was rooted firmly in the past, the second year had me evaluating the present, and the third year will hopefully have me looking toward the future- a mother who has lost and mourns her only son, but who is standing proud and living a life he would be proud of!