What Would Machiavelli Do? The Ends Justify the Meanness

A sly send-up of the successful What Would Jesus Do? books, here is a satisfyingly mean light-hearted approach to business success—the Machiavellian way.

Machiavellians may not get to heaven, but on earth they have a definite edge on the competition. In this pithy and discretely vicious guide, Stanley Bing shows how the Florentine master statesman and political thinker would handle today’s myriad corporate challenges, seize the future by the throat, and make it cough up money, power, and superior office space. So, what exactly would Machiavelli do?

• He would exploit himself only slightly less than he exploits others.
• He would be in love with his destiny.
• He would, for the most part, be a paranoid freak.
• He would always be at war.
• He would cultivate a few well-loved enemies.
• He would have a couple of good friends, too.
• He would acquire his neighbor.
• He would think BIG.
• He would move forward like a great shark, eating as he goes.
• And much, much more.

More than a road map to success, this hands-on guide will help anyone get what they want, whether or not they deserve it.

Stanley Bing, the alter ego of Gil Schwartz (1951–2020), was the bestselling author of Crazy Bosses, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Throwing the Elephant, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs . . . And How to Get Them, The Big Bing, and The Curriculum, as well as the novels Lloyd: What Happened, You Look Nice Today, and Immortal Life. He was a top CBS communications executive whose identity was one of the worst-kept secrets in business.