What is life all about: a big bank account, a huge stock portfolio, a massive house, a fancy car? Even before the world economic crisis began, it seemed obvious that each of these materialistic feats pales in comparison to what is most real, genuine, and meaningful in life. This work contains inspirational beliefs that I hope and trust will aid anyone's understanding of their place in the world, and of the importance found in values such as personal and collective responsibility, stewardship, community, a sense of caring, and more... There are a number of old-fashioned values within these pages, although they are each focused on very 21st century issues. It is a book for every generation, and every walk of life. It is a book of hope.
What is the Meaning of This?
65 Lessons to Live ByBy Steve ShayAUTHORHOUSE
Copyright © 2008 Steve Shay
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4389-1678-1Introduction
I always thought that the easiest part of writing a book would be deciding upon a title, but it was actually both the hardest and the last thing I did. Here is a selection of former working titles that each got cast aside in the process. First it was called "Driving Principles" because a number of the ideas came to me while I was driving long stretches of highway. But, fearful that my auto insurance company would think that I daydream too much and raise my premiums, that title was out of the question. Then the lightening bolt hit again and, voile', the new title was "Living On Purpose." But when I did some research and found that it was probably too similar to another book already in print, and that its reverend- author might choose to cast me out as a demon, that was gone too. As an aside, finding a good book title that hasn't already been used is much the same as signing onto the internet and thinking that the screen name "Steve" might still be available. The third time reportedly being the charm, how about "Being in Perfect Self?" Alas, I was never quite keen on the whole perfection thing, so that too got dashed. Finally, I decided upon "What is the Meaning of This," but you will have to read onward in order to find out just why.
This is a book, for want of a better explanation, of inspired and hopefully inspirational beliefs. As you read through this book, perhaps you may begin to believe that the ideals contained inside are ones that I achieve with consistent perfection (there's that word again) in all of my daily decisions and way of life. Well, although I would prefer to clearly agree with that notion, the truth of the matter is that I fall far short of a number of these concepts every year, every week, and every day. You might think that I believe these 65+ concepts provide universal answers that are applicable to every one of life's questions. Now, while I do believe that each of these principles can add to anyone's understanding of themselves and their place in the world, it would be rather lofty of me to believe that I have some magic cure to the seeming lack of enlightenment that permeates most of our lives -including my own.
So, let me ask you a question: Have you ever tried to recall something-a name, a date, a place, or an event -and you just can't seem to put your finger on it when you need it? Then, later on, when you're not trying to sort through the folders and files in your brain, to your amazement, you can remember it clearly. Well, that happens to me all the time. When I quiet myself down enough, and set-aside the weight of daily responsibilities, obligations, deadlines, and schedules, I really do think and feel more deeply than when I am fully engaged, and even sometimes enraged, by the whir of life that surrounds me. At those times, I feel most alive.
So, I still haven't told you the reason for the title. And, perhaps I've led you to believe that there is some deep and mysterious place I go to-a prayer tower of sort-where great inspirational thoughts come to me. Alas, there is not. In fact, the closest I get to a prayer tower would be the small country garden in the backyard. Remember, I am not a philosopher, a theologian, or even a good scout. Although I did study both philosophy and theology, scouting was never, as they say, in the cards for this former New York City youth.
The title "What is the meaning of this" came to me while I was clicking around the television dial early one morning, looking for the weather channel (which is one of the few things I ever watch on TV anymore), and found a show that I remember fondly from when I was a young boy, "Hogan's Heroes." There they were: Colonel Hogan, Sergeant Shultz, and the Commandant himself, a sort-of Three Stooges for my generation growing up in the early 1960s. As was the case in so many episodes, Hogan and his band of slapstick yet ingenious prisoners of war had just tried another humorous antic to distract the enemy from some sabotage plot between Goldie Locks and Papa Bear. And, having just gotten caught on purpose, there was Colonel Klink wagging his finger at them all, an intoning those immortal words, "What is the meaning of this?" Alas, a title!
I thought, for a while, that maybe this whole project was an outgrowth of my reaching middle-age, much like the growth that has steadily taken place between my chest and waistline. And perhaps, too, you believe that this book was constructed out of a need to satisfy a personal midlife crisis. But, the midlife crisis was plugged, at least temporarily, several years ago with the purchase of a sleek new sports car into which I could hardly fit my less-than-sleek old body. Besides, I knew many of these things well before middle-age. And I believe this book offers good lessons for every stage of life, including those entering high school or college, a young person first starting out on their own, a person entering their chosen profession, those who are ill, a newly married couple, a middle-age person like me, or even our wonderful senior citizens; anyone and everyone who is looking for some answers to the real meaning of life.
I am still unsure what "type" of book this actually is. In terms of a precise definition, it doesn't entirely fit into the self-help or business publication categories, although I do believe that it can be a resource for both self-help and business. While not a political book, it does address the concepts of personal and collective responsibilities, and the roles of stewardship we can and should play in our community, society, nation, and world-especially to those that may be not as lucky, fortunate, or blessed (choose the term that you are most comfortable with) as ourselves. Finally, without distancing myself from some of the younger folks who I hope will read this and take it to heart, there are several old-fashioned values within these pages, although they are each focused on very 21st century issues, concerns, challenges, and opportunities. Most of all, I want you to be inspired: inspired not only to think, but to act. And, if you find something of value herein, to act, perhaps, in a slightly different way than you may have before. Thoughts can lead to actions, and actions can lead to philosophies of life-the values we most hold true.
As I mentioned, it is in the quiet moments I find the deepest meanings. I suppose that is why so many people pray daily. I believe deeply in the power of prayer. But it can be difficult, especially if you have children running around, schedules to tend to, and the like. If you're always running, do you sometimes feel as if you are running on empty? I do at times. I think most people do. So, I believe it is very important to find a place each day, and just relax. Tune out the distractions into which we can become so easily absorbed, and tune into what is deep inside. At first, I am fairly certain that the place would have to be a silent or peacefully quiet one. But, as you progress, you may find yourself in a contemplative state even amid the noise and haste of life. You will be amazed at what you hear, see, and touch. And, once you find that special place deep within, you will probably want to seek that place over and over again. It is a place where you can avoid distraction, and be peacefully connected to, in the words of a Christian prayer, "all that is seen and unseen." It is all there. You just have to look.
* * *
In order to appreciate anything in written form, I believe that you need to know something about the author. Without knowing the author, at least to the extent that a short introduction can provide, it is nearly impossible to know the perspective from which that person comes. And, without knowing that perspective, the value of the author's words are shallow. So, here goes.
I was born in Queens, New York. Our family lived in the same 3rd floor apartment, just off of Steinway Street, from the time I was a baby. My mom only recently left that apartment, but I have long gone my own way. I left for college at age 18, as many people do, and lived on campus. The summer of my senior year, following graduation with a BA in Psychology, I went to work at a somewhat forlorn resort in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. From there, I went back to New York, working in a variety of tourism and hospitality jobs, and learning a lot about life along the way. The constant interaction with vast numbers of diverse cultural, ethnic, social, political, religious, and moral values offers an invaluable education.
I had a great family life as a child, although I was much younger than my siblings. My two oldest brothers were married while I was still in single digits. The brother who is closest to me in age got married early in my high school years. And, my sister, who remained single, set out on her own when I was in my early teens. My mother is still alive, as I mentioned above, and is 89 years old at this writing. My father, who I always describe as a sort-of "Wilson-esque" character from Home Improvement, passed away when I was in my late 20s. That man, who I admired greatly, died of a heart attack right in front of me. That was a shattering experience, though I had to be the strong one for my mom, who was shattered even more than I.
When I was younger, in the same manner as most young people do, I searched for answers to some very puzzling questions. There were the simple questions that I think most people ask at one age or another: "What do I want to do with my life when I grow up?" "Will I be successful?" And, there were deeper questions: "What am I all about?" "Who am I at my core?" "How do I become the best person I am meant to be?" Basically, "What is the meaning of this?" I am sure that some people still ask the same questions today and look just as deeply for the answers in their own lives. But, it seems to me that many others simply do not care anymore about the answers to the deeper questions of life.
As we grow older, or "mature" as it is sometimes called, I think that some of us also stop asking the deeper questions. We seem comforted by what we've achieved or, rather, amassed in our lives. For a great many of us, the amount of "stuff" we've accumulated, the rate of return on our stock portfolios, or the level of "comfort" we've surrounded ourselves (and perhaps a few select others along the way) with dictates our level of happiness and of peace. The cries of desperation from those across the globe that face starvation or terror of every possible imagining are distant. Even those in our own cities and towns, or perhaps a neighbor in need seems, in the minds of many, to be a result of poor planning, an indication of governmental failure, and someone else's problem to solve: not my responsibility. And, while I deeply believe in a strong sense of personal responsibility, I also believe that we need to reach out, in collective responsibility, to those in need. I doubt that there are many who believe the world doesn't need some significant change. I'm not sure if we can, individually, change the world. There was a time, in my youth, when I was sure I could. Now I'm not sure that anyone can. But, if we can change the manner in which we live our lives-our example, our way -perhaps, collectively, we can still make a difference.
I could ruminate, if I wish, on the things that I haven't achieved in terms of material wealth. I lack a truly healthy bank account, a palatial home and, while I do enjoy what I do for a living, a career which is wildly rewarding beyond belief on an every-day basis. I fully understand that a vast number of the world's population scratch-out an existence, many others live paycheck-to-paycheck, and still others do not have the luxury of much relaxation or down-time. But I am blessed in many ways. And, I have a lot of time just to "think" as I ramble through my daily life -at home, on the road, in the quietude of my backyard. Right now, in fact, I am sitting in a comfortable lounge chair, listening to the water trickle over the closest of five garden fountains, and watching my cat sleepily eye the hummingbird that is sipping nectar from the feeder about five feet away from both of us. To me, it is very important to find a place where I can find "peace at last"-away from the whirlwind of the demands that daily life can impose upon us if we allow it to. And I believe "peacefulness" can be found no matter where you are in life. I am not of the camp that believes that I am somehow a victim because, at age 48, I do not foresee retirement as a viable option in, honestly, the next 20 years. The choices I have made along the way, with varying degrees of understanding and responsibility, are all my own. Each choice either brought me toward or drew me away from my ultimate goals in life. And, while I will admit that, like many others, I can become fixated on self-gratification (nice vacations, etc), lest you believe otherwise, from an early age I always found my greatest satisfaction and self-worth in helping people.
I give great credit to my three brothers, all of whom successfully retired as they had planned, and to my sister who also retired with solid monetary wealth. I hope that all of them are enjoying the fruits of their labors and the time with their families. Each of them seemed to find balance in their lives, to one extent or another. They made time for work and time for family. At the same time, as is the case with most working families, I am certain that they sacrificed some time that they would rather have spent with their wonderful grandchildren, children, and equally hard working spouses, in order to make life a bit easier for those they love through their hard work. I suppose that retirement and seeing the new lives of grandchildren are reward for that. But, my goals were different-perhaps more missionary than monetary. Now, while I did consider the ministry early in life, I really don't mean missionary in a religious sense here. Mission-focused might be a better term. But, Lord knows I've turned down more than a fair share of promotions with more than a fair share of companies. While each may have promised greater monetary gains, each came with significant downsides too. At the same time, I am not foolish. If a position came-up that offered me growth and advancement, and didn't significantly impact the life I enjoy in a negative way, I would give it strong consideration. In the end, however, although this may sound counter-cultural, moving "up" was never as strong of a personal goal as moving "in"-getting to the deeper meanings in life. It just seems lately that so many prefer to live solely on the surface, while the depth, is where true wealth lies.
Perhaps, although I was only a child "in" the 60s, I am a child "of" the 60s at heart. My teen years all took place in the 1970s, amidst much pessimism and disillusionment. It seems to me that the real children of the 60s appear more often lately in today's commercials as captains of their own yachts or stars on their own backyard tennis courts than as protesters against the injustices of humanity. If I am being judgmental, please accept my apologies. I guess I haven't lost the dream that I can help be a part of the collective "making a difference" on a deeper level, focusing upon service to others rather than solely upon self-reward. I've thought about contributing in a number of ways, even politics, but all come up short of what I feel is the best way to share the talent I have been given as gift-to communicate, teach, write.
If I succeed, there will probably never be a "sequel" to this book. For better or worse, these are my best thoughts; all I have to offer. This is all I have to give to you. So, I hope that, in reading some of the "inspirations" in this book, you too rekindle the depth of thought that you may have had in younger years in the same manner as I did by writing them. Some may call that blind idealism, but I prefer to think of it as clear-sighted hope.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from What is the Meaning of This?by Steve Shay Copyright © 2008 by Steve Shay. Excerpted by permission.
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