Where Does All the Poop Go?

Ever read the story of Noah’s Ark and thought, “Wait… how did that actually work?” Yeah, same.

Where Does All the Poop Go? is a darkly funny, fully illustrated picture book for adults who’ve dared to apply common sense to Bible stories. Through modern dialogue, sarcastic side-eyes, and painfully accurate math, this book follows poor Noah as he’s asked to load 16 million animals onto a wooden boat, feed them for a year without refrigeration, and, oh yeah, figure out where all the poop goes.

Told in a satirical children’s-book style with full-color illustrations on every page, this book blends Sunday school nostalgia with brutal logic and a healthy dose of WTF. It’s not just a retelling, it’s a comedic audit of one of the Bible’s most famous events.

Perfect for ex-evangelicals, cult survivors, recovering Bible nerds, or anyone who enjoys asking questions they were told not to, this book opens the floodgates, literally and metaphorically.

Trigger warning: May cause church flashbacks and uncontrollable laughter.