He Who First Held Her Heart: How a Daughter Heals in Her Father's Absence

As a young girl, Sonja longed for her father’s love, not realizing his absence would lead her down a road of desperation—as she searched for love in all the wrong places. For years, she pretended to happy and held it all together, while secretly migrating from one abusive relationship to the next. After exiting another unhealthy relationship, this final heartbreak caused her to reach out to her father for comfort. Their unpleasant encounter forced her to remove her mask and face the broken pieces of herself. In her book He Who First Held Her Heart, Sonja bravely shares her story as a fatherless daughter. She becomes transparent, revealing her childhood trauma and walks the reader through intimate details of her struggles as she transitioned from an abandoned child into a “broken woman.” A young girl looks to her father for protection as he teaches her self-worth and self-validation. Without her father's presence, Sonja sought to meet her own needs to survive, by hiding her pain behind a mask of academic success. However, it was obvious she could not hide her brokenness because it manifested within her relationships. This book begin as a letter to her father, but before she could write him, she had to figure out the root of her pain. Her strong spiritual foundation led her as she embarked upon a roadmap of self-discovery and healing, which she shares. While on her journey, she disclosed the intimate experiences of faith, forgiveness, and self-love. She demonstrates healing is possible by sharing her inspirational journey as she transforms into a woman of strength, confidence, and courage. He Who First Held Her Heart, is unique in the way it addresses the fatherless-daughter epidemic. The author uses her experiences as a school counselor and psychotherapist to bring forth her father-daughter relationships models. Her theory is: girls who grow up without feeling loved and validated by their fathers are emotionally vulnerable. As they become aware of their father's absence, they desperately search for the love and validation they are missing. Many fatherless young ladies engage in risky behaviors leading to teen pregnancy, domestic violence, criminal activity, school dropout, etc. As they move into adulthood, they transfer feelings of abandonment into a need to define their self-worth by pleasing others, usually an abuser. This book displays a detailed description of abusive relationships to help women recognize their own cycle of victimization and address unhealthy behaviors associated with their father’s absence. Not only does this book bring the fatherlessness epidemic to the forefront, it walks the reader through the step-by-step process of healing, self- affirmation, and forgiveness. It doesn’t matter if you are a fatherless daughter or absent father, you will find healing and substantive steps to repairing relationships. Sonja not only reveals the harsh truth of the effects of fatherlessness on daughters, and provides a roadmap to healing, but also presents a guide for fathers, mothers, extended family, and the community, to assist in mending the hearts and lives of those children born into a broken heart of fatherlessness. Each chapter starts with Sonja’s powerful and poignant poetry. The book is filled with helpful resources for anyone affected by fatherlessness: fatherless daughters, single mothers, and fathers wishing to connect with their daughters. It concludes with interviews from community leaders, absent fathers, daddy daughter love letters, and community information. Her faith in God, along with her professional excellence as a Marriage and Family therapist, has allowed her to provide a roadmap of healing for the victims of fatherlessness. This book brings both emotional and spiritual enlightening, hope, wholeness, and forgiveness to those who travel the road she presents. It teaches women how to heal, love, and forgive themselves and others, as well as their absent father.

Sonja P. Moore currently resides in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She has a Bachelor's degree in Psychology, a Master's degree in Educational Psychology, a Post-Master's Certification in Marriage & Family Therapy, and will pursue her PHD in Marriage and Family Therapy in the fall of 2014. She has over fourteen years of service as a school counselor in Wisconsin's largest urban school district, and over six years as a practicing psychotherapist. In previous years, she has worked in many other community organizations, including treatment centers, group homes, and social service agencies. She has also developed therapeutic material for support groups, married couples, and parenting groups. While in the school district, she continues to service the high-risk population affected by fatherlessness, poverty, violence, low achievement, teen pregnancy, and homelessness. In addition, Sonja is also co-owner of Changing Dynamics Marriage & Family Therapy, LLC, a family therapy practice in Milwaukee that aims to restore broken relationships within families. As a psychotherapist and school counselor, she helps her clients and students get to the root issues that interrupt their emotional well-being. She is passionate about the work she does, and wants to continue make an impact on the fatherless community.