Why Do We Keep Arguing? (And How To Stop)

"...one of the most important books of its kind...This book provides the reader with 'more knowledge and understanding about conflict engagement than most other folks on the planet', and successfully answers the question: 'how is it that we’re built for love, but find arguments and conflict so enticing even though we know it’s no good for us?'" - John Sturrock, KC. Founder and Senior Mediator, Core Solutions.

“This book is not only unique, but enjoyable, and immensely useful. Scott explains the neurophysiology that keeps us locked in conflict accurately and in detail, but in a language and style that are playful, friendly, accurate, and accessible, without ever being academic or simplistic. His exercises are powerful and well worth the price of the book. So if you want to know how your brain keeps you arguing when it’s long past being pointless, or how to get it to stop, you can open Scott’s book to almost any page and find something that will tell you why, and what you can do differently.” - Ken Cloke, mediator and author of Mediating Dangerously and The Dance of Opposites.

how can this book help you?

Only pick this up if you're committed to changing the way you approach arguments & conflict. If you do, be prepared for a future of opportunity that looks pretty different to what you might've expected.

This highly-practical book is about what's kicking off in your brain in the lead up to and during difficult conversations, focusing on big picture neuroscience conveyed in a light-hearted, approachable manner. It's intended to encourage and trigger fundamental change not only in you, but also in the world of conflict beyond.

It’s divided into three sections, in which you will be asked to learn, apply, and reflect.

1. the first section focuses on the neurophysiology at work in the lead up to, and in the midst, of most arguments and conflicts you face in life;
2. the second section guides you through simple techniques to control your brain’s innate mechanisms of survival, in order to engage more constructively in conflict; and
3. the third section helps you reflect on what’s been picked up in the book, on how to form new habits in conflict going forward, and further provides some thoughts on how to share what you've learned with those around you.

how can the author help you with this book?

Scott is a lawyer from Glasgow, and before he moved on to other projects, was accredited by the Law Society of Scotland in family mediation, was a convener of CALM Scotland, a member of the Family Law Association, Vice Chair of Scottish Mediation (and Chair of its Promotions Committee and Peer Mediation Working Group), and was the first lawyer mediator in Scotland to be trained in direct consultation with children in family mediation ("child inclusive mediation"). He was also a member of the Family Mediation Accreditation Panel of the Law Society of Scotland. His first book, How To Talk To Your Kids About Separation, is still available on Amazon.

In short, he doesn't know you, but he's helped so many people work their way through conflict and find their way to some peace. He's taken all his experience and written this book for you, to empower you towards real change, helping you get your head around the neuroscience and simple techniques you can apply to achieve a rewarding transformation in your life.