Why Don't We Listen Better? : Communicating and Connecting in Relationships

You can listen your way to better relationships. This often humorous book, loaded with practical tips, examples, and techniques, will bail you out of touchy situations. Dr. Jim Petersen's powerfully intuitive yet tongue-in-cheek Flat Brain Theory shows how and why we get upset and confused and what to do about it. We may think we're good listeners, but not many of us are. When others talk, we focus on what we think, rather than what they are trying to say. Few of us know how to use the power of listening to improve life for ourselves or those around us. Jim says that good communication uses the same skills in a professional office, on a date, in a corporate boardroom, or at a kitchen table. He discusses the need to abandon the win-lose mentality of the courtroom-like culture that so often puts us at odds with each other. Listen shows how to improve talking and listening skills using the Talker-Listener Card. This creative use of the;taking turns we learned as children can end arguing as we know it. He presents more than thirty time-tested listening techniques to help you deal with common communication land mines and listen your way to better relationships, from intimate to casual and work-related. Petersen's pièce de résistance, the inventive Talker-Listener Card is practical, easy to use and portable, a format that elevates idle banter and argument into the arena of authentic dialogue. When people use the card they help each other relax, think clearer and build empathy and cooperation. He includes chapters on using the Card to improve listening with couples, difficult groups and as a family dinner table game. It along with the book are great resources for counselors and counselees. Why Don't We Listen Better? presents other original easy-to-use tools and techniques to help people develop skills at what he calls come-alive communication. It is organized in short sections, labeled in the Table of Contents so you can immediately find the technique or idea you want to review. His insights will give you creative ways to handle both daily interactions and the difficult situations of anger, grief and conflict. This veteran counselor's unique approach to listening has changed lives. He distilled forty plus years of pastoral experience, counseling and teaching into this informal volume loaded with practical tips, examples, and techniques to practice. The informal manner that endears him to novices and experts alike is reflected in this valuable book for anyone who communicates with others.

About Dr. Jim Petersen: An experienced seminar and workshop leader, Jim Petersen has developed his own practical techniques for improving communication and relationships. Dr. Petersen's material has benefited corporate clients, city governments, colleges and universities, the hearing-impaired community, students, teachers, parents, couples, and churches. His informal manner endears him to novices and experts alike. In addition to communication work, he taught courses and workshops in personal growth, informal peer counseling, problem solving, motivation and decision making, conflict resolution, life-planning, couples counseling, Biblical reflection, and discovering meaning through assessing life experiences. He provided pastoral leadership to three Presbyterian churches in Oregon over forty years. He was named Pastor Emeritus at Southminster Presbyterian Church in Beaverton Oregon, honoring his thirty-two year pastorate there. He retired from his counseling practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Oregon. He specialized in counseling couples and teaching classes on effective communication. His degrees include Doctor of Ministry and Master of Divinity from San Francisco Theological Seminary in San Anselmo, California, and a Bachelor of Arts in mathematics from Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Oregon. On a more personal level he is an avid fisherman and plans his next book to be essays on his life-learnings from angling experiences. He plays tennis and a mean game of ping-pong and lives and travels with his writer wife, Sally.