Why I hate Faulkner: an Essay with Practical Examples (a Novel)

I hate it when novels don’t have a summary. It’s one of my pet peeves. So here is a summary of this novel: On January 2nd the star of the high school football team is trying to take his mid-terms. His best friend, Chris, is in the adjoining room listening to a sex-ed lecture. He can remember a time when he and Chris weren’t friends. He remembers his sainted ex-girlfriend, Millie. He thinks about local history, the De La Rosa family, and the outlaw, Calico Hoss. He recalls partying with his friends, Juan and Paul. He thinks about time he spent with his parents. He reflects on his senior research project. He remembers his last football game. He also attempts to explain why he doesn’t particularly care for the works of William Faulkner.