Synopsis
First of all, I am so thankful for you and your willingness and expertise to work with each and every child who has been abused – whether emotionally, physically, or sexually - and brought to you for help. It is such painful work; yet, there is joy also as you see a child reach through the brokenness and begin to heal. The technique in FOR ME grew organically through my own many years of working with children because is so hard for small children (ages 4-10) to use words describing what has happened to them. Having a technique that encourages using the specific words – often over and over again – to describe the feelings and the acts themselves greatly empowers the child over time and helps bring into manageable proportions the abuse and resulting feelings that are so HUGE and overwhelming to the child. Working through the workbook about each feeling and filling in blanks with often the same answers provides a vehicle to open the pathway of words in a simple way for children, and uses the goal of their very own Puppet Show as a conclusion of their efforts. Thus, this format evolved and it thankfully proved helpful time and time again. More specifically, after each child has progressed through the feelings and statements about the secrets and acts experienced, then preparation for the puppet show begins. After a puppet is made for each feeling and the dialogue for each puppet is complete (which takes time and is necessary for the healing process), then an actual puppet show is performed by each child. Because the child is out of sight, it is easier but still very empowering for the child to read the dialogue aloud. If the child cannot read, then I would crouch with the child and whisper each statement the child has created as dialogue for the child to repeat while the child holds up the puppet for that feeling. The type of stage you use does not matter to the children; it is their work which matters to them. Sometimes family members may be healthy enough to attend the puppet show; often they are not. If the family members (for example, the mother or father) were not in my professional opinion healthy enough (meaning able to simply applaud and praise the child’s efforts only), then I would never mention the possibility of their attendance as it is of paramount importance that the child’s feelings and statements are validated and most definitely not challenged. However, anyone’s attendance, even if healthy, still is always strictly a decision made according to the child’s wishes. Even if, for example, I felt a mother could be appropriate but the child would be uncomfortable or fearful, she would not be allowed to attend as to allow this this would be a violation of trust developed between the child and counselor. Thus, many times, no one but myself was present for the puppet show, which in no way decreased the child's pride of accomplishment! I always offered to videotape the puppet show if they wanted to see it, and most children did. Watching and listening to their own puppet show dialogue was very empowering as well. Frequently it can be used to continue in therapy if needed as a lift off point for the next work needed such as family dynamics to be explored relative to the child’s trust, comfort levels and acceptance of his or her feelings within the family. By way of emphasis, I need to add one comment about this workbook and its progression through each child’s feelings – the progression is repetitious by design. The questions, statements and blanks to fill in are intentionally the same over and over again as it is this repetition over time that helps each child accept what was done to her/him, helps each grapple with the enormous feelings and finally begin to release them. The process enables children to begin leading their lives without the looming shadows of shame and fear, and begin to feel once again a sense of self-control, self-worth and their own innocence and joy.
"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.
