This Isn't Working for Me: A Practical Guide for Making Every Relationship in Your Life More Fulfilling, Authentic, and Intentional

It’s me. No, it’s you. Maybe it’s both of us?

We all want to avoid drama and pain in our relationships, yet we remain stuck in never-ending cycles of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and triggering interactions. Sometimes it just seems easier to decide we are “done” with people rather than continue trying over and over again. Even our best and closest relationships—with our partners, friends, family, and colleagues—can feel unduly challenging.

In this straightforward guide, expert relationship therapists Ilene Cohen and Edrica Richardson get to the heart of what it means to really be in fulfilling relationships and why connecting with the ones you love can feel so hard. You’ll learn how “doing the work” encourages healing and growth within yourself and within your relationships.

Filled with activities, quizzes, and prompts that offer support in every step of the process, This Isn’t Working for Me will help you go deeper in your relationships by exploring:

• Six steps to creating the relationships you want—Discover the foundational elements that will help you build (or build back) strong, sustainable connections.

• Self-empowerment—Learn how a willingness to focus on yourself helps cultivate resilience, trust, and a stronger sense of self.

• The science of relationships—Understand what happens in the brain and body when you are upset and angry, and learn the benefits of turning impulsive reactions into responses that you choose.

Creating and maintaining strong, fulfilling relationships doesn’t mean disregarding your own boundaries or letting go of what you want for the sake of “keeping the peace” in your home, family, friend group, or workplace. Instead, it means being more yourself! By moving into the fullness of who you are, you can claim freedom and agency in your own life, learn how to release blame, and cultivate happier and healthier relationships with those you love.

Ilene S. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, is a therapist, author, and mother of two young girls. She is one of the most respected voices in the psychology of people-pleasing and navigating the difficulty of living an intentional life while maintaining fulfilling relationships. Dr. Ilene is the award-winning author of six books, including When It’s Never About You and The Forgiveness Workbook, as well as a regular contributor to Psychology Today. All of this work is fueled by her passion for helping people achieve their goals, build a strong sense of self, and lead fulfilling and meaningful lives. Additionally, as the president of her family’s foundation, Dr. Ilene oversees various initiatives to create better opportunities for those in need. Visit Dr. Ilene at doctorilene.com.

Edrica D. Richardson, PhD, LMFT, is a therapist, AAMFT approved supervisor, professor, author, and proud aunt. In addition to her clinical practice, Dr. E has been teaching undergraduate and graduate students for the past 12 years and supervising for the last six years in the US and the Bahamas. Additionally, she cohosts a biweekly Bahamian radio show about mental health and relationships and has been a guest on many other media outlets. She also spreads the word on the importance of relationships and mental health locally and internationally through speaking engagements. Visit Dr. E at rpc-ltd.com.