Wretched Writing: A Compendium of Crimes Against the English Language

Wretched writing is the lowest of the low; it is a felonious assault on the English language. Exuberantly excessive, it is a sin committed often by amateurs and all-too-frequently by gifted writers having an off day. In short, it’s very bad writing. Truly bad. Appallingly bad.

It’s also very funny.

A celebration of the worst writing imaginable, Wretched Writing includes inadvertently filthy book titles, ridiculously overwrought passages from novels, bombastic and confusing speeches, moronic oxymorons, hyperactive hyperbole, horribly inappropriate imagery in ostensibly hot sex scenes, mangled clichés, muddled metaphors, and unintended double entendres.

Sit back and enjoy these deliciously dreadful samples, and try not to cringe too much.

Ross Petras and Kathryn Petras are a brother-and-sister writing team, and the authors of the bestselling Stupidest series—which includes the #1 bestselling page-a-day calendar The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said (now in its nineteenth year—with more than 4.5 million copies sold)—along with other books.