Yikes!! My Butt's Falling [Paperback] Robyn Mulhearn / Aleta Pippin

78 million baby boomers rushing toward 50 at the rate of one every 7.5 seconds. How are they dealing with this aging issue? It's apparent that many will do whatever it takes to prevent the onslaught of age. Extremes of diet, exercise, hair transplants, plastic surgery are prevalent. Think about it. When's the last time you saw the grandmother of your memory, the one wearing a hairnet, an apron, and support hose? I'll wager the only place that image now exists is in your memory. "Yikes!! My Butt's Falling" explores boomers' approach to dealing with aging. Authors Mulhearn and Pippin, boomers, decided to deal with the issue by sharing their insights in a humorous and philosophical manner. They look at all the effort and energy that's being invested in staying young. "It's as if we think we're the only ones who've every gone through this. We, an entire group of people, believe we should have special dispensation against the lines, bleary vision, falling bottom, protruding belly. 'No!' we scream. 'We're not going to take it! Not lying down anyway.'" Pippin comments. Their book provides illuminating observations of what's happening in our society. It's the authors' belief that many people spend so much time paying attention to surface issues because they're afraid to ask those hard questions, "Why am I here?" "What's my life really about?" that lead to knowing one's self on a deeper level.

from the Chapter V. Change of Life - ..."Yep. He said he figured that it was my hormones out of whack due to menopause. After a bunch of tests and two weeks of pins and needles, he called me back. Thank goodness, he confirmed our suspicions, it was my hormones. This was certainly a load off my mind because I'd become extremely concerned that maybe I was really just a bitch."
"So what're you going to do about it?"
"I'm not sure yet, still investigating all the options. But the first thing I'm going to take care of is this mustache. The hairs above my lip keep coming in thicker and stiffer. It reminded me of when I was little and spotted this woman in church. She had a dark brown mustache. Fascinated, I asked my aunt why that woman had a mustache and she said, 'Sssh, we don't talk about things like that.' At that precise moment, I promised myself I would never have a mustache, at least not one that showed."
"That's pretty frustrating. Fortunately, I haven't experienced that problem. Have you tried electrolysis?"
"Honey - yes! Do you know what it feels like to have every hair above your lip zapped with an electric current, then tweezed?"
"No. But it sounds painful."
"It hurts like hell. Plus you have the overwhelming feeling of wanting to sneeze when they get into that area right below your nose."
"I had no idea. Is there a problem with simply sneezing when you feel like it?"
"It's obvious to me you haven't experienced electrolysis. It's pretty hard to sneeze when you're prone on a table with a magnifying glass three inches away from your face and an electric needle stuck up a hair follicle."
"That does sound a little tricky. After undergoing all that pain, I hope it was successful."
"Nope, and I spent over a year in this self-inflicted torture, not to mention a lot of money. Next I tried waxing, which worked great. I only had to do it every few months. Then I noticed these little lines around my eyes and began using Retin-A. If you haven't used Retin-A, you need to know that it causes your skin to become more sensitive and thinner. A few months into using the Retin-A, I went to wax my mustache. I yanked off the strip of wax and, lo and behold, there in the wax among those fuzzy little hairs were a couple layers of skin. I'd yanked off my entire upper lip!"