From Him, Not Them: A Young Woman's Guide to Relying on God for Validation, Identity, and Guidance

2026 Selah Award Finalist — Young Adult

Ever feel like everyone else got the map for life, but you’re still trying to find the right turn?

We all want direction—someone to show us where to go and who we're meant to be. But when we rely on people, feelings, or success for guidance, we end up more confused and exhausted than before.

I know what it’s like to search for meaning and worth in all the wrong places. After a breakup left me questioning my value, I chased worth through achievements, approval, and appearance—until it led me into an eating disorder.

I’m not the only one. For twenty years, I’ve mentored young Christian women wrestling with the same questions: Where do I belong? Who am I, really? Is my identity based on what others think or who God says I am?

We search for meaning, worth, and direction in grades, sports, relationships, or social media—none meet our deepest needs. What if we’ve been looking in the wrong place all along?

From Him, Not Them is a Christ-centered roadmap for young women navigating the pressure to prove themselves. You'll hear honest stories from girls who’ve struggled with insecurity, people-pleasing, anxiety, and self-doubt—and found a better way forward. You’ll discover:

◆ How to stop hustling for approval
◆ Why feelings make a terrible GPS
◆ The hidden cost of stressing over solutions
◆ Why self-sufficiency wears you out
◆ The danger of flirting with spiritual darkness
◆ How to walk in step with the Spirit

A meaningful gift for the young woman in your life—or a book you can read and discuss together.

If you're looking for Christian guidance on identity in Christ—or a way to encourage a teen, college student, or young woman in her faith—this book offers truth, grace, and spiritual direction.

You don’t have to keep looking outside your relationship with God for what He longs to give you. True security comes from Him, not them.

TRACY HARPER is a passionate communicator, teacher, and writer who has spent over twenty years in campus ministry with Cru, helping young people navigate life's challenges with God's guidance. A Pennsylvania native, she earned a degree in English and Secondary Education from Towson University, graduating summa cum laude. She began her ministry journey serving college students across Pennsylvania and Maryland, later completing Cru's Institute of Biblical Studies program. She then spent six years at the University of Hawaii in Hilo, continuing to invest in students from diverse backgrounds. Her call to full-time ministry was deeply shaped by her experiences as a college student, traveling to all 50 states and 183 cities with First Priority's What's Up America Tour. While on the road, she witnessed firsthand the spiritual struggles of young people, solidifying her passion for walking alongside the next generation in their faith. Now living on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, Tracy enjoys life near the water-partly because it's peaceful but also because it reminds her of her "Lucky we live Hawaii" days. She has home-educated her three daughters through eighth grade for thirteen consecutive years, loves slow mornings with coffee, and has been known to drive off the road when spotting a rainbow. A devoted foodie, reader, and traveler, she also writes devotions to help women reset their relationship with God, themselves, and others at tracyharperwrites.com.