Rabbi Mel Glazer

When I turned 12, my Daddy died, and that is the day I became a grief therapist. That's when I began to understand how much we do not know about death and grief and healing. My parents never talked about death, and society did not- and still does not- talk about death in a non- threatening and compassionate way. Yes, we see bad guys die on our favorite television programs all the time, but how many of us have been in the presence of death? How many of us have touched a dead body, or even had a sustained conversation with a friend or family member about what death is and what it means to us personally?

I learned much too early in my life, how we are not taught the proper way to speak about death or talk to grievers. Or grieve our own losses. My Uncle said to me at the time Daddy died: "You're the man of the house now." And I had no idea what he meant. My Daddy had just died, And my Uncle had already appointed me his replacement? Today I realize that he was trying to help me be strong after just learning that Daddy had died, but instead he made me more confused.

Lots of people are confused about how to deal with death, that is why I write books on that topic. Death is not scary, and there is no need to be squeamish, we just need to recognize that death brings us sadness, and that there are ways to recover from the pain of losing someone near and dear to us. We can learn to grieve properly, with love, honor and compassion. That is my goal. I write,teach and lecture about death all over the country, and I am honored to do so. I have been blessed by God with the gift of being able to walk "through the valley of the shadow of death," and teach other grievers as my own teachers have helped me.

I look at the healing process differently than other grief therapists. For me, there are 3 stages (or gates) through which we travel on the grief journey. Briefly,I will summarize them:

1. Accepting the reality of the loss. Not in a superficial way, but in a deep emotional, she's- not- coming - back way. My life will change, and I accept the reality of that upcoming change, even though I have very little idea what that will look like.

2. Coping with the loss. This gate is at the very core of the healing process. Each of us grieves in our own way, but we must take very deliberate actions in order to prepare ourselves for the positive changes that are yet to come.

3. Embracing our new lives. Loss of a loved one leads us forward to find a part of ourselves that we had perhaps forgotten. Joy returns, differently than before. Passion returns, and our task is complete. We have walked through the gates and we are ready for our new lives to begin.

I was born in Atlanta in 1947, moved to Philadelphia to attend a Jewish High School, attended college at Columbia University and the Jewish Theological Seminary, then remained at the Seminary for my Ordination in 1974. In 1995, I earned a Doctorate of Ministry degree from Princeton Theological Seminary, with a focus on grief and mourning, and I have spent the last 40 glorious years being a Rabbi, author and grief teacher and therapist. I hope to continue along this holy path for many more years.

I hope you enjoy reading my books, and I welcome your reactions to them.

Contact me at mel@griefok.com,and we will stay in touch.

Blessings to all!