Cole D. Lemme

I am an amalgamation forged by every single action, thing, person, thought, and all other anythings that have come prior to me in all of the universe, its other dimensions, and everything before it and outside of it and everywhere else. I am the point that the first point of anything led up to with every determining factor and all other almost infinite points that influenced that first point. I think.

I was making some food the other day, thinking about how I would feel if I were diagnosed with cancer (not the kind you recover from) and what exactly I would do. Everyone, most everyone, does something different as soon as they hear the news. But I'd like to think that I'd try harder. Not try harder than I was trying prior to that in my life, but try harder than those others diagnosed with cancer to create an explosive out. And then I thought that I would, for the climax, jump from a building, not fall, but run at the fastest speed I could for a 30 feet and then try and fly. And before I began that run, I'd say to anything, if it deigned to watch, and anyone, if they knew or were passing by, I’d say to those images sparkling in my eyes: “I am happy.” And then I would smile and start jogging…

Immediately when I had that thought, the water UNDER the pot I was boiling water in made it jump (I THINK) because I’d rinsed the thing off before I set it on the stove. But it scared me from that imaginary moment where I could see a skyline of rooftops and skyscrapers, where I could see the people and things and important sections of the path of my life, and those standing along the path, coming with me or staying behind (or running on up ahead); I could see everyone’s eyes, scared for me, not understanding that I knew something before I jumped: I knew that it didn’t matter what I knew. All would be and God or the universe or any living soul couldn’t blame for anything I did or had done; I knew no other way. That’s why I was happy.

But why the pot of water jumped off the stove at that exact moment is also on the list of things I don’t know of or why. Was it the universe telling me that I’d hit onto something? Was God telling me that cancer was coming? Was life and the world telling me that everything would be all right and that happiness was finally coming to me, as we all seek? Was a being more powerful than I trying to tell me to wake up, face the day and stop thinking about death and what it will or will not offer?

Or was the pot and water merely an amalgamation of every other thing prior it? and nothing else…