Will Nett

Middlesbrough author Will Nett's global appeal and general popularity have seen his writing career straddle two Millennia. His work has appeared across a wide range of publications, from his ever-popular books, to short-form contributions for institutions such as Crossing The Tees, and Arts Council England.

He is an incurable backpacker, amateur musician, and habitual note-maker/taker, most of which have found their way into his Gonzo-steeped books, My Only Boro: A Walk Through Red & White, his riotous travelogue, Billy No Maps: Teessider On Tour, and Local Author Writes Book. Like many authors, he has occupied a succession of curious endeavours, having been, at one time or another, a travelling Sudoku salesman, snooker table repair man, model, cinema usher, and landscape gardener.

He is currently writing a travel book, without leaving the house.

As a Northerner he is rarely seen without a flat cap, always expects rain, and maintains robust opinions on the price of alcohol in London, which he visits twice a year to 'do author stuff.'

He is multi-lingual, speaking English, and a feral approximation of what he says is French.

His latest work, Bank Notes, released in December 2021, is an anthology of peculiar tales in the vein of the Tales of The Unexpected-esque/Twilight Zone stories that continue to fire his febrile imagination.

An interplanetary package holiday takes a dark turn. A man is driven to madness by an unseen torturer. Construction workers discover a tunnel beneath the streets of Nice. The author’s quest for a royal relic does not go to plan. A cat helps lay the historical foundations of a northern town. A boardgame is the undoing of a seemingly unshakeable alibi.

These, and other strange tales, form an anthology of the arcane as Will Nett’s short stories are collected together for the first time. Journey with the author, where little is as it seems, as the reader is drawn in to the blurred reality that is Bank Notes.

“My Only Boro is a great little book with a witty insight into the history of Teesside past and present. Will writes like a Teesside version of Charlie Brooker!”

"Alan Bennett for millennials."

"Billy No Maps is full of punchline-fuelled, relentless humour from an excellent travel writer. Very funny."

"Watch out David Sedaris."

"Will relentlessly indulges himself in his subject matter...be it busting ghosts, being punched out by bare-knuckle boxers, or thwarting his own kidnapping. Join the ride, on paper at least. Riotous stuff."

"Like Karl Pilkington on acid."

“Crying laughing! Seriously! Anyone from Teesside should read My Only Boro (though perhaps ‘Teesside’ is questionable?). Full of local facts sprinkled with down to earth Boro humour at it’s best.”

The chaos of his earlier work continues in The Golfer's Lament: How I Reached For The Pars...And Missed, which was submitted for the William Hill Sports Book of the Year 2020.

Everyone thinks they can play golf. Will Nett is no different. How hard could it be? Get the ball in the hole in as few strokes as possible.

Having had one of his best worst ideas yet, Will Nett takes to the fairways in an attempt to master this most absurd of sports. Garishly outfitted, and armed with nothing more than a set of ladies’ clubs and a bad temper, he becomes immersed in the game, and all its infuriating foibles.

Many a walk is spoiled as he chases the white ball through the gardens and washing lines of Hull, the vaudeville-steeped music halls of Victorian England, and the Arctic Circle.

Join him on the first tee as he blunders from clubhouse to classroom and everywhere in between as he reaches for the pars… and misses.

My Only Boro: A Walk Through Red & White

My Only Boro is not just about Middlesbrough Football Club; it’s not just a history book about the town; and it’s not just a social commentary on a town once described as ‘the worst place to live in Britain.’ It’s all this, and more.

Billy No Maps: Teessider On Tour

What do Pamela Anderson’s ex-husband, a Los Angeles street gang, a trans-European smuggling plot and 64 acres of sugar cane have in common? They all became inextricably linked with Will Nett, that’s what, as he tangled with Balinese customs officials, almost died in the Australian Outback and foiled his own kidnapping at the hands of Fijian furniture salesmen during his chaotic year-long excuse for a holiday. Will’s scarcely believable follow up to My Only Boro will have you hoping you never find yourself sitting next to him on a plane. Or a bus. Or anywhere……And if you’re planning a round-the-world gap year trip in the near future, whatever you do, don’t let your mum read this book.

Local Author Writes Book

Thinking of writing a book? It’s not all chat shows, award ceremonies and copious amounts of booze – except for the copious amounts of booze.

Join My Only Boro author Will Nett as he deals with his stratospheric new-found success – he was on local radio, y’know – and embarks upon ‘difficult second book phase’.

Stuck for new subject matter, and holding down a series of menial jobs in order to collect new material, he becomes embroiled in a peculiar world of yo-yo dieting, backyard boxing bouts, and religious cults.

It’s a wonder he has time for punch-ups on the streets of Paris, upsetting Eurovision song contest winners, and arranging a parking space for potential Prime Ministers… but could he turn any of it into a book?'