Briane Pagel

These are the major achievements of Briane Pagel's life (in no particular order)(other than the order he put them in)(which isn't really a PARTICULAR order as he thought of them randomly)(who says 'random' can't also be 'particular')(Ermal Fraze* for one, that's who!)(Particular... particular... it's a weird word, isn't it?)(What were we doing again?)

OH YEAH HERE IS THAT LIST:

1. Inventing the concept of '24 hours of pizza'.

2. That is all.

If you are looking for a biography that says where Briane lives, or how many kids he has, or whether he's a 'cat' or 'dog' person -- descriptions that frighten him when he reads them on other people's pages because he was raised from a young age to believe that someday the world would be taken over not by computers or aliens or toasters or whatever but instead by a terrifying series of hybrid people created through genetic mutation -- if you're looking for THAT kind of biography, well, you didn't get it.

Currently, Briane is attempting to grow a cactus in a terrarium he bought at a dollar store.

*Ermal Fraze (nicknamed "Ernie") invented the soda pop tab. But you probably knew that.