John Porter

About John Porter

John Porter is a leprechaun raised by a kettle of vultures – yes, that’s what they’re called, a “kettle”. After graduating summa cum laude from the Sorbonne, he played four years with the Denver Nuggets and “brought home the wash”. When he’s not spinning yak yarn into putter covers, he enjoys hanging out at strip clubs feigning Tourette Syndrome. He’s a project-oriented f-ing doer with a penchant for creativity and directness. He’s also witty as f#@k, and I wrote this last part in the first person.