John Roche

Hello...Thanks for checking in.

This story chronicles the ten years that my mom lived with me prior to her death. I was a good caregiver to begin with, but my desire and devotion to providing the best care possible withered as I became burnt out with the job of caregiving. I have regrets, the primary one being that I let caregiving divide the relationship between me and my mom. I did not have a strategy that allowed for me to maintain a healthy mindset toward caregiving and what needed to be done on a daily basis. The softness and compassion I once had was replaced by a desire to be done with the work as fast as possible. Alzheimer's Disease and end of life issues increased my burden. I wish I could have the time back and I wish I'd known then what I know now, but when your in the middle of it you do what is best at the moment. I learned and I want to pass on these ideas to others who are in or will be in a similar situation.

I hope others can find validation in their feelings here, but most importantly I wish that there is a lesson to be had...that you need a strategy to deal with the two rolls of loving family member and caregiver. Ideas for this strategy are provided.