Tom McGraw

The author has repeatedly proven himself a manly man and uses a 1961 IBM Selectric to produce flawless first drafts of his superlative novels. He does this insisting that he isn’t a Luddite, but rather, a person who enjoys the little things in life. Such as when he pecks his way to the end of a line and the tiny bell goes ping. At these moments he often giggles and claps excitedly. But who wouldn’t?

The author is married and has two very tall, athletic red headed children who have been described as 'geniuses'. When questioned on this discrepancy (Mr McGraw has the stature of an 1890’s Luxemburgian immigrant and often answers questions by grunting or stamping his foot) he stamps his foot and mutters, “Genetics - worse odds than Vegas!”

As to his reported age, his youngest and most vocal child insists that the author is, in fact, older than dirt. The author has demonstrated conclusively through Carbon 14 dating that such is not the case.