John L Messina

Hey. How's it goin'?

My legal name is John Louis Messina Jr., but most folks know me as John or John L or Johnny or Messina. As a musician, I have also used the stage names Johnny Orr and John E. Ugly. And my father affectionately refers to me as "dumb ass."

I've been writing since I was eight. I've been playing bass since I was 13. I'm 51 now. You do the math.

I've led a long and complicated life. Long by chance, complicated by choice.

One of my first memories is the battle of wills that took place between me and the first authority figure I encountered outside my family ... my kindergarten teacher. She thought I was too young and belonged in preschool. I disagreed. She made my life a living hell. But she wound up being transferred in the middle of the school year, and I got a new teacher.

The rest of my life has been a series of run-ins with authority. Teachers, principals, coaches, cops, lawyers, judges, bosses and sound engineers. It's usually a draw.

Baseball is my passion. I dreamed of being the Mariners center fielder, but they gave the job to some guy named Griffey instead. The M's are my ride-or-die, but I love baseball in its totality.

While Griffey patrolled center in the Kingdome, I hit the road and played every kind of music you can think of at every kind of venue there is all around the Pacific Northwest. My most popular bands in the 90s were jam band Smilin' Jack and faster-louder punk darlings Dually.

I went to law school. I dropped out. I had a career in journalism. I lost it. I got married. I got divorced. All attempts to enter the world of normals ultimately failed.

Finally found a steady day hustle by managing data for the Department of Veterans Affairs. Turns out, all those hours spent analyzing baseball stats wasn't a waste of time. I love our Veterans.

Started playing the upright three years ago. I have the privilege of being a regular in the hilarious R-rated improv puppet show, the Cotton Gin. I play the bass player. It's a stretch.

Go Mariners!