P. R. Edwards

The author is one of those pale, deluded Celts who stumble out of the mists of England, rather surprised the world has become so modern.

He was educated at a school that resembled Gormenghast, and went to college on the high, wet plain overlooking Bath, where he studied Maths and Beefheart.

After a stint at the Gas Board in the Seventies, he stepped off a 747 into the New York winter and was promptly relieved of his greatcoat by a cheerful chap he met on West 42nd Street.

Falling on hard times, he eked out a miserable living programming mainframes, and soon had enough to buy a suit.

He moved to Chicago and joined a community theater in Wilmette. Sadly, it was unpaid, but I'm told he wowed them in Winnetka.

Finally, he opened a British restaurant in St. Pete Beach, Florida, called "Tea and Crumpets". Naturally he was soon broke and forced to return to coding.