S.A. Shaffer

I'm a husband, a lawyer, an expert roto-rooter, and can screw in most lightbulbs on my first attempt (righty-tighty, lefty-loosey). I won 1st place in the Participation Trophy Contest and recently had to put down my slightly used Toyota Corolla (rest in pieces, Silver Fox). I live in Texas, and my yard was recently nominated for best-dead-lawn. I also write books. For more about me visit sashaffer.com.