Jon Marsh
My name is Jonathan Marsh, a retired U.S. Army Warrant Officer, aviator, father, and husband. Almost ten years ago, I lost my purpose. What I learned is that I thought I had one, and I truly loved what I did, but it was not my purpose. The truth was that I had always been searching for a group, a unit, a family, to be accepted as an asset in this world, beyond the responsibility I had to my own family. I knew my purpose was right in front of me the entire time.
In 2022, I began to see that purpose, and it was not sitting in the front seat of an aircraft, testing it to its limits. That was my job. My purpose was to be a mentor, leader, and example of someone who dealt with many dark life experiences, and to find a way to communicate those experiences so anyone could understand. To show my wife that I truly do love her, and to show my children how to face any adverse challenge, but to communicate it in a way they can understand.
Our language in the military is not known by many, even by the therapists who try to understand our chaos-ensued struggles. It is a language we understand, but we don’t know how to communicate it. It could be in the form of a joke we only get, but is too “inappropriate” to everyone else. Many times it’s the darkness that lives in our minds, in our hearts, when we know we are good. Too many times, the chaos takes over, and it becomes too difficult for many to bear the weight. The easiest way out is to end it all. But if there were a way, a simple way, to express our thoughts to someone who doesn’t speak our language, why wouldn’t we at least try?
I spent years in therapy trying to find out “what was wrong with me,” searching for the beauty in life while surrounded by death and chaos for so many years, in the Army and my life. Wanting to wake up and escape the darkness that I lived inside. I realized there was nothing wrong with me. I just needed a little help from someone to decipher it. This is how Communicating Without the Chaos was born. It is a tool to help those who want to help themselves see their lives from a different perspective, to tell their story without telling their story. To provide mental health professionals another way to reach the veteran or first responder. And overall, to help make the reader the hero of their own story.
I am not a licensed medical professional. I am not a counselor of any type. I am a mentor, leader, soldier, and human who has finally been able to face my demons. I have not seen the level of horrors that some have, but I assure you I am humble enough to recognize that. But I promise, if you give yourself the chance to face these demons in a different way, you can win this battle.
