How to Speak Dutch-ified English (Vol. 1): An "Inwaluable" Introduction To An "Enchoyable" Accent Of The "Inklish Lankwitch

Here is a book for anyone tired of speaking flat, colorless, homogenized English. Pennsylvania Dutchman Gary Gates provides a glossary, read-aloud section, songs, recipes, and more in this delightful, inwaluble introduction to Dutch-ified English. Learn the meaning of "rutch" and "spritz," what a "clod" and a "crotch" are, how to pronounce and make "Cussin Rachel's Snitz und Knepp," and what has happened to food when it's all. As you read this book you will not only learn how to speak better, but when an American Dutchman becomes president you will understand him when he addresses the nation in Dutch-ified English.

Gary Gates is a Dutchman from Lebanon County, Pennsylvania, where all the baloney comes from. People know where he is from when he opens his mouth.

Gary is a performer, having appeared hundreds of times at festivals, fairs, colleges, libraries, corporation banquets, comedy clubs, writers groups, resorts, and on radio and TV. His Pennsylvania Dutch humor is riotous fun, sweet enough for family entertainment, yet salty enough to keep adults and children in stitches.

He loves performing and celebrating his unique heritage with his fellow Dutchmen, and sharing it with non-Dutchmen, whose response to his show has been overwhelmingly hysterical. Some people have declared him the new Professor Schnitzel, even the Mark Twain of Pennsylvania Dutch country. Even more people simply call him the best windbag they ever heard.