Talk to the Snail: Ten Commandments for Understanding the French [Thou shalt be wrong (if you're not French) -- Thou shalt not work -- Thou shalt eat -- Thou shalt be ill -- Thou shalt speak French -- Thou shalt not sing (in tune, anyway) -- Thou shalt not know -- Thou shalt not love thy neighbour -- Thou shalt not be served -- Thou shalt be polite (and simultaneously rude) -- Thou shalt say 'I love you.' ]

1st US ed., 1st printing ; 262 pages : illustrations ; 21 cm ISBN 9781596913097, 1596913096 OCLC 320683207 LCCN 2006034164 LC DC34 .C548 2006 Dewey 944.00207 ; black cloth in pictorial dustjacket ; Have you ever walked into a half-empty Parisian restaurant, only to be told that it's "complet"? Attempted to say "merci beaucoup" and accidentally complimented someone's physique? Been overlooked at the boulangerie due to your adherence to the bizarre foreign custom of waiting in line? Well, you're not alone. The internationally bestselling author of A Year in the Merde and In the Merde for Love has been there too, and he is here to help. In Talk to the Snail, Stephen Clarke distills the fruits of years spent in the French trenches into a truly handy (and hilarious) book of advice. Read this book, and find out how to get good service from the grumpiest waiter; be exquisitely polite and brutally rude at the same time; and employ the language of l'amour and le sexe. Everything you need is here in this funny, informative, and seriously useful guide to getting what you really want from the French. ; Stephen Clarke is a British journalist and the internationally bestselling author of A Year in the Merde and In the Merde for Love, which describe the misadventures of Paul West in France, and Talk to the Snail, a hysterical look at understanding the French. He himself has lived in France for twelve years. ; Contents: Thou shalt be wrong (if you're not French) -- Thou shalt not work -- Thou shalt eat -- Thou shalt be ill -- Thou shalt speak French -- Thou shalt not sing (in tune, anyway) -- Thou shalt not know -- Thou shalt not love thy neighbour -- Thou shalt not be served -- Thou shalt be polite (and simultaneously rude) -- Thou shalt say 'I love you.' ; FINE/FINE.…