Who's on Top, Who's on Bottom: How Couples Can Learn to Share Power

A therapist, using stories of ten real couples, helps partners overcome competitive thinking and develop the ability to share power as equals by mastering skills of communication and negotiation, and develop shared love and mutual respect. 25,000 first printing. $25,000 ad/promo. Tour.

Most couples have occasional power struggles over issues as trivial as dibs on the remote control clicker or as major as deciding when, or if, to have a baby. As psychologist Schwebel ( Saying No Is Not Enough ) observes in this sage self-help guide, our society teaches competitiveness, which too often influences intimate relationships. Although one person may "win" an argument, the victory can be shallow as mutual resentment and competition eventually erode the relationship. Schwebel advises couples on how to use the "super skills" of power sharing (calmness, discipline, communication, keeping an open mind), how to achieve a "cooperative vision," develop negotiation techniques and use constructive criticism to overcome "stuck points," "locked horns" and off-track communication. He also explains what couples can do when cooperation fails, and how they can define and overcome unconscious barriers to intimacy. Ten "love stories" from Schwebel's practice illustrate how couples resolved--or were destroyed by--a variety of power struggles.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Fact: conflict is a part of life and every relationship. No two people, even the most compatible, want the same things all the time. According to the author, the modern-day solution to this conflict seems to be divorce. Schwebel (Saying No Is Not Enough: Raising Children Who Make Wise Decisions About Drugs and Alcohol, LJ 10/15/89) introduces his plan for sharing power cooperatively. He uses various love stories to help illustrate the real struggles that couples face in a relationship. With a cooperative vision, Schwebel claims, couples no longer waste their energy competing to be on top; rather, they share power as equals and define their problems as mutual. If budget allows, this book is recommended as an addition to the self-help section of your library.
Marty D. Evensvold, Magnolia P.L., Tx.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.