How to Want What You Have: Discovering the Magic and Grandeur of Ordinary Existence

Convincing readers that wanting what they have is the secret of happiness, the author offers a simple, practical, and credible method to achieving this end by applying principles of Compassion, Attention, and Gratitude to everyday living. 20,000 first printing. $15,000 ad/promo.

Referring to the wisdom in the traditions of Buddhism, Christianity and humanistic philosophies, Miller here constructs a model by which individuals who seek "more" than what they have can find happiness by wanting what they already have. The process is difficult, he stresses, requiring a change of heart. A California cognitive psychotherapist, Miller establishes three pinciples-compassion, attention and gratitude-that must be employed lifelong for change to be lasting. Commingling case histories, anecdotes and engaging humor, he demonstrates the principles. This commonsense counselor offers a feasible method for living and enjoying a good life "in accordance with the old saying that happiness is a way of traveling rather than a destination." Realistic solace for the discontented.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

One might argue that all psychological self-help books restate the obvious: the good ones do it usefully, the bad ones do it banally. Here's one of the good ones. Miller's thesis, that we'd be happier if we could learn to want what we have, not what we don't have, is as commonsensical as they come, but it flies in the face of all we know of human aspiration: if only I had a little more money, a better job, someone to love . . . then I'd be happy. As Miller points out, however, that "little bit more" is a perpetually sliding scale, ensuring that we never quite get what we need. By employing three behavior-modifying techniques, which he labels compassion, attention, and gratitude, Miller believes it's possible to appreciate the "grandeur of everyday existence" and avoid wasting time anticipating catastrophe: "If planning, wishing, working, and worrying with sufficient determination could make it possible to avoid pain entirely, then only a fool would stop and smell the roses." It's obvious, certainly, but Miller makes his point with both analytical skill and rhetorical force. If only he could make us believe him. Ilene Cooper