it hurts to breathe: a novella (River's version)

This book is the illustrated version and second edition of the novella it hurts to breathe, written by River Sutaria (formerly Jharna).

Inspired by 2022’s overturn of Roe v. Wade, this story shows what happens when people don’t receive the reproductive care they need, the reality of those who do, and everything in between.

it hurts to breathe narrates a tale about generational trauma in the wake of various political issues. A transgender man who endures a post-rape abortion as a child grows up in search of a place he can call home. One young mother walks through life torn between being loyal to her partner or her parents. And finally, a girl who displays unwavering grit in learning a way to love despite her cracks.

This series of vignettes, told through three different perspectives, follows each individual as they fall out of a cozy family portrait before beginning to find their way back together. A message that echoes the words, “love heals.”


it hurts to breathe won the Creative Arts category at Foothill College's 6th Annual Research, Service, and Leadership Symposium in May of 2023.

Within the first two weeks of its release, the novella hit #2 on Amazon's Best New Releases chart for LGBTQ Anthologies & Collections.


"it hurts to breathe is a gorgeously written, deeply felt story of family, love, and loss. A vivid, poignant testament to the way trauma burrows into our souls, creating twists and turns through our minds and hearts in order to be healed. Sutaria has crafted a nuanced and provocative novella that you'll be thinking about long after you've finished."

- Amber Smith, New York Times bestselling author of The Way I Used to Be


“In their debut novella, Jharna Sutaria quilts together the lives of those impacted by the current political, and deeply personal, decisions of our time, weaving a poignant and intimate story of inter-generational trauma and healing.”

- Allison Herman, Professor of English Composition & Literature, Foothill College