We over Me : The Counterintuitive Approach to Getting Everything You Want from Your Relationship

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The stars of the social media show The Ellises and hosts of the Webby Award-winning podcast Dead Ass with K&D share the core pillars of their relationship as millennial lovers and parents that have allowed them to thrive.

“Staying married in this day and age takes a whole different mindset, and this book gives an intimate and honest look at the inner workings of their strong union.”—Gia Peppers, award-winning journalist and host

After twelve years of marriage, twenty years together, and four kids, Devale and Khadeen Ellis have been through a lot. They’ve loved their way through a long-distance relationship, financial instability, parenthood, Khadeen’s near-death, and their near-divorce, chronicling their day-to-day life with their boys online. After much trial and error, they hit upon one surprising, essential truth: If you’re looking for a healthy relationship and a fulfilling life, focus on your partner’s needs instead of your wants. Choosing service over selfishness will not only make your relationship stronger, but it will help you achieve your own goals and build a legacy together.

With their trademark transparency and humor, Khadeen and Devale share the messy, behind-the-scenes work of what it takes to succeed and support one another in their search for individual purpose while growing in their marriage. They discuss family, parenting, sex and intimacy, finances, and commitment, with honest advice threaded through their stories, such as:

• Stop comparing yourselves to other couples and make your own rules.
• Learn how to function as a team.
• Keep talking about sex.
• The kids ain’t first.

The Ellises might not have all the answers, but they do know that good love takes friendship, grace, and service. Their personal and relatable truths will inspire you to be the kind of partner you want to be so you can build a supportive, enduring relationship.

Devale Ellis is a former NFL player turned actor known for his lead roles on Tyler Perry’s Sistas and the spin-off, Zatima. He is the co-creator, along with Khadeen, of the Ellises social sitcom on YouTube and Facebook and co-host of the Webby Award-winning podcast, Dead Ass with K&D.

Khadeen Ellis is a TV host and actress. She is a two-season alum of OWN's Black Love docuseries and has served as a keynote speaker in large conferences such as Essence Festival and The Momference. Their podcast, Dead Ass, covers love, sex, and marriage, with notable guests including President Joe Biden, Louis Carr, Tiffany Aliche, and Shan Boodram.