Synopsis
Too Much Time on his Hands is a mind-blowing statistical journey written by a crazed wing-nut of a Red Sox fan with clearly too much time on his hands.
A handy guide for all diehard Red Sox fans, it s a great tool for those casual Red Sox fans that want to think like the front office thinks. Do you sit Dustin Pedroia tonight against Scott Kazmir? Just turn to the Pedroia alphabetical index for your answer. Josh Beckett is pitching against Jorge Posada? Easy, just turn to the Beckett alphabetical index. Mike Lowell is up with runners at first and second and two out? Just turn to Lowell s situational hitting section. Jonathan Papelbon is called on to protect a one-run lead? Just flip to Pap s situational pitching. It s so easy that even a Yankee fan can do it (providing, of course, you can find one that can read).
You re at Fenway Park and some loud-mouthed yahoo (you know the type) yells obscenities at Terry Francona for allowing Julio Lugo to bat against Roy Halladay in the late innings of a tight game. Simply turn to the offending blowhard and say, Lugo batted .500 versus Halladay last season, you foul-mouthed imbecile, and then proceed to shove popcorn up his or her nose (NOTE: do not attempt on large, muscular people).
Each one of these stats has been compiled with care by a man that s watched every pitch of every game of the 2007 championship season.
About the Author
Scott Russell has absolutely no qualms when it comes to taking on authority. (He had a dozen or so qualms a short while ago, however, he seems to have misplaced them.) The author speaks sixteen languages fluently, none of which can be identified. Scott eats, sleeps, and dreams baseball exclusively, except for his recurring dream involving himself and Uma Thurman. Scott lives in North Attleboro, Massachusetts with his wife and their eleven felines, some of whom are as deranged as Scott. Please offer prayers to Peggy, Scott's long-suffering bride of 23 years.
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