We can experience our life as a metaphor, one in which time flows as a continuous stream, and all of us, in our boat of life, fl owing down the stream toward an unknown destination. We are often unaware of the effect our mental model of reality has on our everyday perceptions and behavior. Embracing a positive metaphor can move our lives forward in a conscious direction. In this book, I will present information that can be used to stay on our natural flow; information that can help us avoid the sandbars of depression and disappointment, navigate the rapids of sudden change, and avoid getting dashed against the rocks of failure or success that we will all inevitably encounter on the stream of time.
Life on the Flow
By Jerry SpiegelBALBOA PRESS
Copyright © 2012 Jerry Spiegel Ph.D.
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4525-4863-0Chapter One
FLOWING WITH THE STREAM
Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. Mihály Csíkszentmihályi
Introduction
We can experience our life as a metaphor, one in which time flows as a continuous stream, and all of us, in our boat of life, flowing down the stream towards an unknown destination. A metaphor is a mental model that helps us understand, and make sense of the world around us. We are often unaware, of the effect our mental model of reality has on our everyday perceptions, and behavior. Embracing a positive metaphor can move our lives forward, in a conscious direction. In this book I will present information that can be used to stay on our natural flow. Information that can help us avoid the sand bars of depression and disappointment, navigate the rapids of sudden change, and avoid getting dashed against the rocks of failure, or success that we will all inevitably encounter on the stream of time.
Life Is a Metaphor
The metaphor I suggest is based on a nursery rhyme that is known to almost everyone. Most Americans, have been able to sing it, long before they knew how to read. It is so ingrained into our collective consciousness that few of us ever stopped to consider what this nursery school rhyme is actually saying. If we break it down into its elements, we find its advice, an apt metaphor for living life on the flow. The lyrics; "row, row, row your boat", can be used as a guide for directing our lives. The boat refers to us, or a group of us, with whom we identify. Rowing is a skillful, if tedious, task that provides movement, and direction to our lives. The metaphor recommends, that we meet challenges in stride, or merrily, and, that we greet life with a smile. The final line, "life is but a dream", is perhaps the most meaningful of all. With a spiritual point of view, life on the physical plane may be regarded as a dream. If we view our troubles in this way we can be assured that they will pass, once we have awakened. We row our boat downstream because that way is going with the flow, or the will of the Spirit.
Row, Row, Row, Your Boat
Time keeps a slipping, slipping, slipping into the future Steve Miller
Using this metaphor, or mental model, we view our life as a journey. We experience ourselves, traveling into the future, down the stream of time, flowing towards a definite, but unknown destination. Some of the navigation is in our control, and some of it, is at the mercy of the stream. The stream is taking us somewhere, but as the rhyme tells us, we still, have to "row, row, row," our boat as well as flow with the current. In the stream of time it is necessary to put forth effort. If we simply allow our boat to drift downstream without putting any thought or effort into our destination, we run the risk of getting caught in the eddies, of depression, grounded on the sand bars of bankruptcy, or dashed against the rocks of illness and death. It takes our attention, and skill, to keep our life on course. Sometimes the stream flows fast, and our life speeds up. We must watch out for the rapids of change, as they come up quickly, and with little warning. To navigate the currants takes rapid action, and skill. Sometimes, the stream moves slowly, and we must watch, wait, and be patient. We are the navigator of our life, as we flow down the stream of time. On our journey towards our unknown destination.
Our free will enables us to make choices. Do we prefer to navigate our boat down the middle of the stream, and chose a conventional life, or are we willing to get close to the rocks of self-actualization, for a better view? The choice of view varies, however, it is always necessary for us to row, and, navigate. To just drift is not enough, if we have no destination in mind we may end up in places we would rather not be. It takes both planning, and flexibility, to have a successful journey. To live on the flow, we need both a desired destination, and the ability to adjust to the wind, the waves, and the currents, in the waters of time.
There's a river somewhere, it flows through the life of everyone. I know it flows through the mountains and the meadows and the valleys of time, yes it do Roberta Flack
My First Sailing Lesson Madison Wisconsin 1952
I had been a member of the University of Wisconsin sailing club for just one hour, when Ted, an experienced captain, asked me to crew for him. I had never been on a sail boat before, let alone in a sailboat race. Ted assured me, all I would have to do, is hold the jib sail line tight, and follow his orders to come about. The finish line was across the lake, on the opposite shore; a distance of about two miles. The other boats took off straight across the bay, beating into the wind, and, making slow progress. Ted amazed me by sailing off course on a right degree angle, far from our destination. When I questioned him about what he was doing, he smiled, and said, "Wait and see". When we had almost reached the lakes end, far out of sight of the other boats, he came about, and took the same tact back toward the finish line, now a long way off. The boat moved quickly on that tact, and arrived at the finish line, well in front of the other boats. The race was won easily. I took this lesson to heart. The quickest way to your destination may not be a straight line, it all depends on the wind the waves and the water.
Gently
Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
To succeed in our life quest requires: effort, assertiveness, and productive work. But, it is also important to keep those traits in balance, with our inner peace and harmony. Many of us often end up, at one extreme, or the other. We're goal-driven, obsessed, and stressed-out, or we're on a beach relaxing, trying to relieve the stress. We need to be assertive, but not so assertive, that it turns into aggression. We need to put out effort, but not so much effort that it turns into an obsession. We must row our boat, but row it gently. Make our life a game, and, learn to allow our lives to flow, by letting go of our attachment to the results. If we row too aggressively, we may upset our boat, or the boats of others. To live gently, we must treat ourselves, and others well. "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you" or better yet, "do unto others, as they would have done, unto themselves".
As we continue our journey through life, we acquire karma, or debts and credits, in our cosmic bank account. According to the law of cause and effect, the celestial accountants, keep impeccable track of our actions. The aggressive behavior; those who strive too much, and work too hard, may achieve material success, but, they can also, wear themselves out early in life, and die young. They are then unable, to maximize the benefits of their life experience, to improve their karma. The longer we live a conscious life, the better our chance to attain, and utilize, our personal power. This power in the form of our impeccability, and fearlessness, will allow us to gain the maximum degree of perfection possible in this lifetime.
One-pointed intention means holding your attention to the intended outcome with such unbending purpose that you absolutely refuse to allow obstacles to consume and dissipate the focused quality of your attention.... You are able to maintain an unshakable serenity while being committed to your goal with intense passion Deepak Chopra
The concept gently, can also refer to a style of living. People who live gently, stop to smell the flowers, and admired the sun set. Whatever their actions are, they try, and move with grace and tranquility, than against it. Perhaps, the acceptance of what the universe is offering, is where our focus should be, rather than the aggressive struggle, many of us are engaged in, to acquire all the money and material goods we can. When Al Capone, the infamous Chicago mobster, was asked what he wanted out of life, he answered "more". Many of us are caught in the same trap of acquisition, and consumption, to the detriment of the planet, and our own lives. We must learn to accept what is offered to us, and preserve nature, by learning to live gently, with our fellow earth people, and the planet. Rather than complain, about what life has given us, it is necessary to literally, to make the best of what we have been given, and live it out, to the best of our ability.
We don't always get what we want We don't always get what we need But we always get what we get So live it or live with it Smokey the Jer
Down The Stream
It's not; no effort. It's effortless effort. It's like water moving downstream—incredibly active and powerful but without stress it's simply moving with its built-in purpose: downstream. Lao-tzu
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. Albert Einstein
Life on the flow means, going with the flow. The rhyme reminds us to make sure, that we are rowing with the stream, rather than against the currant. The stream of life is constantly flowing, moving, and changing; if we pay close attention, we will realize that much of the work is already being done for us. It is easier to go with the flow than against it. Many elements of our life are pre-determined. Our sex, race, family, physical size and genetic make-up, are determined at our birth, it is our gift from nature. In other elements of our life, such as our vocation, friends, and life direction, we are free to choose, nurture and develop. It is important to distinguish between what we can, and what we cannot, impact. Many of us have experienced the negative results of trying to row upstream. For example, an individual who has been rejected in a love relationship may continue to pursue the object of their affection. Countless hours can spent on the phone, writing letters, buying gifts trying to convince someone, to change their mind. We cannot make someone love us, it is like rowing upstream, the moment we stop rowing, we are pushed back to our starting point.
If it isn't magic it's bound to be tragic Smokey the Jer
If we resist the flow of our life, we may miss opportunities that are passing us by; our life is flowing with the stream of time, even if we are not. When we are on the flow, there are always signs and agreements from the universe. When we are on the flow things really go.
Shit Happens Chicago IL (Oak Park) July 1956
I climbed the wooden steps to the second floor of the Oak Park Draft Board. I had just turned 18 and it was time for me to register for the draft. The draft board office was furnished with a desk on top of which stood a black Underwood typewriter, and a pile of identification draft cards, a three drawer green metal file, and a chair occupied by an elderly white haired lady. Standing before the desk I showed her my birth certificate, and filled out a registration form. She typed the information on the cardboard ID card and gave it to me. As she turned around to put my paper-work in the file, without thinking, my right hand removed a bank draft card from the top of the pile, and put it in my pocket. As I walked down the stairs I was amazed at what I had done. With no forethought had stolen a blank draft card. It was easy enough to find another Underwood typewriter and fill in the card and make myself 21. At that time the draft card, without a picture, was the principal form of ID used in Chicago bars. I was now able get into bars all over Chicago, not for the drinks, but for the music. Before I was 21 I had heard in person: Louis Armstrong, Muddy Waters, Howling Wolf, Miff Mole, and Charlie Parker, Lester Young and many other great jazz and blues musicians. I have never regretted my action. Sometimes things just happen, without any planning, or even thought, sometimes a window of opportunity opens for a brief moment, and then you just have to trust your instincts.
On The Flow New York City 1957
I had a very successful summer at Camp Chi. It was so successful, that I was offered a tuition grant, to get my Master's Degree in Social Group Work. I applied, and had been accepted at the University of Illinois. If I enrolled there, I could live with my parents, and, have the range of a city I knew well. I was also accepted, at Columbia University, in New York City, a more prestigious school, but, with all the disruption of, moving to a new city, finding a place to live, and making new friends. I could not make up my mind which school to attend. A day before classes were to start, with a sudden insight, and surge of energy, I packed a trunk, and drove through the night, to New York City. At the first stop light I came to, I saw the only person I knew in New York City, a woman who had been a counselor at camp. She crossed right in front of my car, and before I could say hello, the light changed, and, I was forced to move on. Wow, I thought, what were the odds of that happening by chance? I must be doing something right. Minutes later, I arrived at the school, and got in line to registrar. I began a conversation with the attractive women in front of me. She turned out to be a fellow group work student, and became my wife a year later. I found a place to live within hours.
On The Flow Again San Diego CA 1981
It was 1980; Ronald Regan had just been elected president. It was time I gave up my hippy life style and rejoined the professional world. A friend of mine told me of a position as a Quality Circles facilitator that was open at the shipyard where he was working as an engineer. A Quality Circle is a small group of workers who met to discuss problems, and make recommendations for improvements, to the shipyard management. With my background in gangs and T groups, this seemed like the perfect job for my re-entry to the world of corporate work; if I could explain my ten years of absence from the professional workforce, and why a PhD would want this position. I sent in my resume and soon got an interview. I knew I was in luck when the interviewer, my future boss, turned out to be a gay black guy with a shaven head named White. I thought; well if anybody would hire me it would a person like him. I waited a week and called to inquire if a decision had been made. Instead of getting my potential boss on the phone, the call was answered by one of his staff. She informed me that although I had been ranked high, the job had gone to a more conventional applicant. She also told me, that minutes before my call, she had been informed that she been hired as the HR manager at a different company, and was leaving the shipyard in a week. As our conversation continued I found out that she had a master's degree in Social Work as did I, and that she had been a student of my old mentor, and camp director Bernie Scotch at the University of Richmond. She agreed to have lunch with me and allowed me to interviewer her about the requirements of her position. Armed with this information I requested a second interview and was hired on the spot. I started work that week. When you're on the flow you just know.
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily
The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same Don Juan Matius
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass ... It's about learning to dance in the rain. Tom Robbins
We all should be rowing merrily, down the stream of time. Life is a precious gift, and we must take advantage of every minute. Most of us are comfortable enough in the here and now, but, if we focus too much of our attention, on past insults, and future worries, we will not be merry. Lighten up, and have some fun. Statistically speaking, happy people live longer than unhappy people. Happiness is a state of mind, and it is also, a strategy for living, that can be consciously selected, and practiced. Material success does not necessarily bring happiness. Although, the human race has produced exceptional individuals, who can remain happy, in almost any circumstance, most of us would find it difficult to be happy, when we are in pain, or, when we are hungry, thirsty, or in fear of our life. However, studies have also shown that, once an individual is above the poverty line, and has enough materiality to survive in a comfortable fashion, happiness becomes a state of mind. For example, Thailand, a country with many poor people, ranks higher than the United States, the richest country in the world, in happiness. Perhaps, in the United States, people have equated material success with happiness, to too large a degree. Money by itself will not make us happy.
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Excerpted from Life on the Flowby Jerry Spiegel Copyright © 2012 by Jerry Spiegel Ph.D.. Excerpted by permission of BALBOA PRESS. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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