"You’re sending me to a boarding school? A redundantly-named boarding school?”
Thus begins the adventures of ninth-grade graphic novelist and all-around-smart-aleck
Marvin Plotnik. He’s just been told by
Finger-Wagging Authority Figures they’ve had enough of his shenanigans, thank you very much. (Apparently, bowling balls and maple syrup do
not make for a good experiment.) They are
Sending Him Away For His Own Good they tell him, Initial-Caps and all, and in two days’ time he’s to board a bus bound for the
Sandy Rivers Hilltop Ranch for Wayward Youth, Juveniles, and Young Adults — which is like four states and a really disagreeable bus ride away. Which turns out to be nothing because in no time at all the whole lopsided “ranch” is
careening through space with Marvin and his fellow travelers destined for a fate so
dastardly, so
disgusting, so
culinary, we can’t even
hint at it without throwing up. Plus, the whole thing’s really hard to deal with considering that stupid
time-loop business. And being strung upside down over a vat of
Serubian Bog Oil And having to listen to sappy '70s music. (i.e., Seriously Uncomfortable.)
All of which, if you were to ask our young hero, gets
really annoying (especially that hanging over the oil thing) because for the first time in young Marvin’s life, he’s
totally fitting in. Now, if only he could hold back those pesky alien hordes...
D. S. Thornton lives in Hawaii and likes puppies.