Whether we are dealing with a rude clerk, our child saying, "That's not fair!," our spouse ignoring us, or an uncooperative co-worker, in our struggle to respond effectively, we often become defensive - sometimes without even realizing it. Despite good intentions, we can become manipulative and controlling, even with those we love most. In this groundbreaking book, Sharon Ellison takes us to the root of our communication problems. She shows us how defensiveness functions in our lives and can lead to hurtful power struggles, outlining the six basic patterns we use: * Self-Betrayal * Avoidance * Excuses * Sabotage * Vindictiveness * Blame Using her Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication process, you can express yourself with a compelling blend of vulnerability and honesty. Learn to: * Ask disarming questions that prompt others to drop their defenses and open up * Give direct feedback to others without being judgmental * Express your own beliefs, feelings, and ideas passionately without being adversarial, so you can be heard and respected * Set firm boundaries that create security and clear expectations. "Taking the War Out of Our Words" provides us with vital tools for healing conflict, enhancing self-esteem, becoming more open and spontaneous, strengthening relationships, transforming organizations, and guiding the way toward peace in our global community.

From the Publisher

PRAISE

"Taking the War Out of Our Words ought to be required reading in high school, college, before getting married, and before becoming a parent. Sharon Strand Ellison's work has the power to turn conflict into cooperation, resentment into rapport. This book can change lives and relationships: Read it and reap." -- Sam Horn, author of Tongue Fu! and Take the Bully by the Horns

"The premise is powerful: Human communication has been shaped by our focus on defensive self-protection and power struggle."

-- Mike Maza, Dallas Morning News

"We need Sharon Ellison's work in our homes, in our offices, and most of all, in our hearts."

-- Evelyn C. White, editor, The Black Women's Health Book

"Ellison has developed a powerful method, with unlimited potential, that will strengthen interpersonal relationships, increase organizational effectiveness, and contribute greatly to building a more productive and harmonious society."

-- Diana Chesterfield, Corporate Manager, Nordstrom

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With 3 stores less than 1 hour outside the DC/Metropolitan area (1 in Gaithersburg, 1 in Frederick and 1 in Hagerstown, MD), we have the largest selection of books in the tri-state area. Wonder Book and Video has been in business since 1980 and online since 1997. We have over 1 Million books for sale on our website and another 1 Million books for sale in our 3 locations. Items on Abe are not necessarily in stock at our retail locations. Please do not call the stores to place orders for Abe Books sales. We have a very active online inventory and as such, we can receive multiple orders for the same item. We fill those orders on a first come first serve basis, but will refund promptly any items that are out of stock. Since 1980 it has always been about the books. ALL kinds of books from 95 cent children's paperbacks to five figure rare and collectibles. A merging of the old and new is where we started, and it is where we are today. Our retail stores have always been places where a reader can rush in looking for a title needed for a term paper that is due the next day, or where bibliophiles can get lost "in the stacks" for as long as they wish. In 2002 USAToday recognized us as "1 of 10 Great Old Bookstores", and we have been featured in numerous other newspaper and TV stories including Washington Post and CSpan. Members ABAA, ILAB.

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