Entre l'an mille et le début du XIIe siècle se place un moment très important de l'histoire du mariage européen : la lutte des dirigeants de l'Eglise pour imposer leurs conceptions de l'institution matrimoniale. En même temps qu'ils forcent, non sans peine, les prêtres à vivre dans le célibat, ils rêvent d'enfermer le peuple laïque dans la cellule conjugale, cadre consacré, contrôlé par le clergé. L'ordre qu'ils veulent instaurer ne se subsiste pas au désordre mais à un ordre différent, contrarie d'autres obligations morales et de vieilles habitudes. Les hommes n'acceptent pas facilement de ne plus pouvoir à leur gré renvoyer leur femme lorsqu'elle ne leur donne pas de fils, ou tout simplement parce qu'un meilleur parti se présente ; ils n'acceptent pas non plus de ne pas pouvoir épouser leur cousine.Le conflit fut long, spectaculaire : un roi de France, Philippe Ier, fut excommunié trois fois de suite pour ce que les prêtres appelaient adultère, bigamie, inceste. Toutefois, tandis que le mariage venait prendre place parmi les sept sacrements de l'Eglise, des accomodements permettaient aux deux morales de s'ajuster. En compensation, se développait dans la société mondaine l'amour que l'on dit courtois ; mais les règles et les rites du mariage chrétien s'installaient. Ce système a duré jusqu'à nous, jusqu'à cette nouvelle crise de l'institution matrimoniale dont les péripéties se déroulent sous nos yeux.
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