Men They Will Become, The: The Nature and Nurture of Male Character - Softcover

Newberger, Eli H.

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0747539669 ISBN 13: 9780747539667

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC, 2000

Synopsis

How do boys develop character? And what can parents, teachers, and society do, from birth to late adolescence, to help nurture admirable qualities in young men? Eli Newberger brings decades of experience and insight to these vital questions. In a series of riveting stories, he shows boys facing the harsh challenges that forge or break character: cheating, bullying, drugs, alcohol, and competition. The Men They Will Become delves to the deepest roots of male character and to the sources of attachment, honesty, self-control, sportsmanship, generosity, and courage. Rather than looking for flaws and vulnerabilities, Dr. Newberger celebrates all the wonderful qualities that make boys boys. The need for leaders of bold but non-violent character makes this wise book of urgent and timely importance.

About this title

Review

In The Men They Will Become, well-known pediatrician Eli Newberger blends stories and suggestions aimed at empowering boys to make strong character-building choices. The author uses examples that range from simple playground incidents to complex moral decisions for teens to provide guidance for parents facing similar situations on the home front. Not meant to be a quick-reference guide, the author focuses on open communication lines and leading by example. Five separate "profiles" divided by developmental stages are presented through anecdotes told from perspectives of both parent and child. Dr. Newberger deftly interviews the boys to get their opinions on touchy subjects, in the process demonstrating valuable techniques for drawing them out without making them feel "interrogated." Each chapter is packed with information on topics like family teasing, teen depression, cheating, and rewarding honesty. If your family is experiencing similar issues, you'll find great behavioral suggestions. Though not a "how-to" guide or a detailed parenting program, a thorough reading will yield an excellent understanding of the gradual emotional development of boys and give parents greater wisdom to help boys grow in to men of character. --Jill Lightner

From the Publisher

Interview Excerpt:

Raising Boys by Miranda Ingram, the London Times

With the success of such books as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus we are tentatively overcoming political correctness to acknowledge the differences between men and women. Now, particularly as the adult male role is in such a state of flux, it is time to own up to the differences between boys and girls and take a closer look at the way we raise our sons, says Eli Newberger, the author of the forthcoming book The Men They Will Become - the nature and nurture of the male character.

Newberger's message is twofold: we are raising our sons differently from our girls, even if we are not aware of it, and at the same time there are areas where boys need extra work to turn them into decent, likeable men. Newberger's 37-year medical career has centred largely on working with abused children and family violence, and he was a state witness in the trial of the British nanny Louise Woodward. This experience has lead him to some startling observations about the different way we treat our sons and daughters. "...Throughout their childhood boys are talked to less, cuddled less than girls, but punished more severely and more frequently even though punitive discipline - as opposed to what I call inductive discipline - is far more harmful to the development of the male character."

At all times Newberger stresses that his advice must be tailored to suit the temperament of the boy. "A boy with a very short concentration span might be best discouraged from watching too much fast-changing television. Similarly, witnessing violence on TV may be more potent to a boy with a naturally aggressive temperament, but not an issue for a gentler boy."

Newberger's final message is uplifting: "Most important of all is the at every boy has at least one person in his life who is absolutely crazy about him and 100 per cent committed to him. If he is not to grow up to be anti-social, he must grow up knowing that there is somebody on his side."

About this edition

• Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC
• Publication date: 2000
• ISBN 10: 0747539669
• ISBN 13: 9780747539667
• Binding: Paperback
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 382