Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now - Hardcover

Livingston MD, Gordon

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 1569244197 ISBN 13: 9781569244197

Publisher: Marlowe & Company, 2004

Synopsis

After service in Vietnam as a surgeon in 1968-69, Dr. Gordon Livingston returned to the U.S. and began work as a psychiatrist. In that capacity, he has listened to people talk about their lives and the limitless ways that they have found to be unhappy. He is also a parent twice bereaved. In one thirteen-month period, he lost his eldest son to suicide, his youngest to leukemia. Out of a lifetime of experience, Livingston has extracted thirty bedrock truths: We are what we do. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Only bad things happen quickly. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. Livingston illuminates these and twenty-four others in perfectly calibrated essays, many of which emphasize our closest relationships and the things that we do to impede or enhance them. These writings underscore that "we are what we do," and that while there may be no escaping who we are, we have the capacity to face loss, misfortune, and regret, and to move beyond them.

About this title

About the Author

Gordon Livingston, MD, a graduate of West Point and the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine who was awarded the Bronze Star for valor in Vietnam, was a psychiatrist and writer who contributed frequently to the Washington Post, San Francisco Chronicle, and Baltimore Sun. His books include Only Spring; Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart; And Never Stop Dancing; How to Love; and The Thing You Think You Cannot Do.

Reviews

Starred Review. The gentle, even-keeled warmth of Livingston's prose distinguishes this slim book of 30 inspirational "truths." A psychiatrist familiar with trauma from both his practice and his life (in one 13-month period, he lost one son to leukemia and another to suicide), Livingston offers the kind of wisdom that feels simultaneously commonsensical and revelatory: "We are what we do," "The perfect is the enemy of the good," "The major advantage of illness is relief from responsibility." He intersperses counsel with personal experience, and tackles topics both joyful and deeply painful. In the chapter focusing on "We are what we do," he notes that the "three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to," and he reminds us that "love is demonstrated behaviorally"-that is, actions count more than words. In his discussion of "Happiness is the greatest risk," he considers how our fear of losing happiness is often a roadblock to our experiencing it. For those contemplating suicide, he writes that "it is reasonable to confront them with the selfishness and anger implied in any act of self-destruction." Livingston's words feel true, and his wisdom hard-earned. Among the many blithe and hollow self-help books available everywhere, this book stands out as a jewel.
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From the foreword by Elizabeth Edwards:

"For the past eight years, Gordon Livingston has been one of the most important people in my life--and yet I have met him only once. Neither of us is young, but we are the beneficiaries of the communication mode of the young: we met on the Internet, in an online community of bereaved parents. He and a handful of others were just what I needed when my child died, people who truly understood the chasm into which we were all falling, trying--sometimes halfheartedly--to grab hold and stop the fall."

Edition details

• Publisher: Marlowe & Company
• Publication date: 2004
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1569244197
• ISBN 13: 9781569244197
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 169