A clinical psychologist and divorce mediator who has interviewed more than one thousand children living through a marital breakup provides observations and insights, sometimes in the children's own words, to help parents assist their kids to better cope with the situation.
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"I remember them arguing a lot. All the time." "My dad and mom are still real good friends." "When she married somebody else, at first it was comfortable." "It was like a shock." These are the voices of children of divorce, as compiled by David Royko, talking about issues as diverse as separation, self-blame, visitation, siblings, "Mom and Dad and Dating and Sex," stepfamilies, money, coping tactics, and fantasies of stalemate reconciliation. Over the course of three years, Royko, a divorce mediator for the Cooks County Court in Chicago, interviewed scores of children, ages 5 to 21. Their moving and insightful comments comprise this book, which is designed as a teaching tool for divorcing parents. Royko occasionally annotates these stories, pointing out for readers which elements to look for. But it is the words and emotions of the children themselves that tell the tale, and that, perhaps, can help divorcing readers protect their children from emotional harm. As Leroy, age 15, says, "When your mother and father split up, I don't care what age you are, if you love them at all, it hurts. It hurts bad." --Ericka Lutz
Dr. David Royko has been clinical director of the Circuit Court of Cook County's internationally renowned Marriage and Family Counseling Service since 1994.
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