How to Train Your Human

By Chit Little

Sit. Stay. Manipulate.
You’ve read books about training dogs—now it’s time for the real story: how dogs train their humans.

Told from the paw-spective of a seasoned canine life coach, this hilarious parody flips the obedience manual on its head. Whether you’re a scruffy pup, a pampered purebred, or just a dog-obsessed human looking to laugh, How to Train Your Human offers a step-by-step guide to total domestic domination (with extra snacks).

Inside this top-secret canine training manual, you’ll discover:

• The three pillars of human control: guilt, cuteness, and chaos

• How to weaponize tail wags and fake obedience for maximum rewards

• Couch conquest strategies and advanced begging techniques

• Bathroom “oops” as a psychological tool

• Bonus: The Official Treat Ranking Chart (Kale, beware)

Warning: May cause excessive laughter, treat distribution, and sudden admiration for your dog’s suspiciously strategic behavior.

Perfect for fans of funny dog books, gag gifts, or anyone who knows they’re not actually the alpha in their house.