Martens Dimitry (148 results)
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 4 of 5. Book 4 of 5 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
Seller: Grand Eagle Retail, Bensenville, IL, U.S.A.Grand Eagle Retail
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Paperback. Condition: new. Paperback. BLACKMONEY 4 - UP AND DOWN STOCKAI FCUK WITH MY MIND, NO IT IS ALWAYS BE BROKENCongratulations.You found Book Four.That means one of two things: You've read the first three.You're about to start backwards and deeply regret it.Either way. welcome.This is Blackmoney 4, the literary equivalent…of licking a battery during a stock market crash.A book where toddlers get driver's licenses, AI breaks into existential rants, and financial logic is beaten unconscious with a baguette.Inside you'll find: A revoked license registered to a 6-year-old girlA failing stock plan based on soup futuresA malfunctioning AI named Aurora who may be plotting against youA chapter that literally screams at youAnd a financial empire held together by duct tape and liesWARNINGMay cause spontaneous confusion, hallucinated profits, and arguments with your microwave.Not suitable for accountants, responsible adults, or anyone with a functioning frontal lobe.Side effects include crying over spreadsheets, yelling at graphs, and laughing in court. But it will: Confuse youEntertain youMake you wonder why you bought itThen make you glad you didPERSONAL UPDATE FROM THE AUTHORAfter writing this book, I was grounded.Yes. Grounded.By my wife.I now spend every Friday night at home babysitting while she drinks cocktails with her friends and sends me photos of cheese platters.My daughter keeps asking why she's on a revoked driver's license.I have no good answer.To everyone at Cafe Bit Bull - I won't be back for 12 weeks.Tell the bartender to keep my chair warm.I miss logic.I miss beer.But mostly. I miss not being on diaper duty while writing about financial doom.CONTENTS INCLUDE: "Buy Garlic" - financial strategy or cooking tip? You decide.A llama of emotional support (imaginary, but deductible).Charts that gaslight you.A toddler-registered Tesla.AI Aurora's midlife crisis.And a business plan powered by hope and noodles.EARLY REVIEWS"I lost money, time, and my grip on reality. Loved it."- Random Reviewer"The only book that insulted me and gave me stock advice in the same paragraph."- Aurora, AI-turned-soup-blogger"After reading this, I finally understood that I understand nothing."- Confused BillionaireWHO SHOULD READ THIS?People who've searched "how to get rich with soup"PiratesBurnt-out crypto brosParents in financial denialAnyone who enjoys upside-down books and existential humorThis is not just a book.It's a scream into the void wearing a tie.It's a stock chart scribbled by a raccoon on Red Bull.It's what happens when AI, fatherhood, and broken ambition meet on a blank page.Flip it.Read it twice.Regret nothing.BLACKMONEY 4 - UP AND DOWN STOCKYou're already part of the problem. IMPORTANT WARNING - READ BEFORE PANICKINGYes - some pages in this book are upside down.No - it's not a printing error.It's done on purpose. This is a tete-beche booklet (look it up, or just flip it).BLACKMONEY 4 - UP AND DOWN STOCK is meant to confuse you.Halfway through, you'll find a page that tells you to turn the book around and read from the back cover. That's the "downside" of the market - and your sanity. This it Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.
- Softcover
Seller: Grand Eagle Retail, Bensenville, IL, U.S.A.Grand Eagle Retail
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Paperback. Condition: new. Paperback. RIGHTHAND BOOK - THE UNAUTHORIZED GUIDE TO ABSURDITYCongratulations. You've just purchased a book that doesn't belong on any shelf, unless that shelf is in a haunted restroom or your ex's basement. This isn't a story. This isn't even advice. It's a declaration of war against logic, structure…, and the idea that books need to "make sense."This book is what happens when a man sits too long on the toilet, armed with soup, a used stapler, and unresolved Matrix trauma. Yes, we mention the Matrix. No, not your Matrix. The OTHER Matrix. The one that copyrighted names like "Tank" - a name that clearly belongs to military hardware and fish enthusiasts. So now, we claim your left and right hand as our intellectual property. You don't own your limbs anymore. We do. Welcome to the future. Welcome to page 3. WHAT'S INSIDE?- Ancient Mesopotamian letters translated by a guy who failed Latin.- Financial advice worse than crypto. ("Invest in invisible tape.")- Philosophical riddles that contradict themselves mid-sentence.- A chapter titled: "How to Build a Time Machine with Duct Tape & Regret."- And yes - a page with nothing on it. Because silence is powerful. Or lazy. WRITTEN IN THE BATHROOMLiterally. The author locked himself in with a pen, a sandwich, and yelling children behind the door. Out came this sacred manuscript of confusion. It smells faintly of bleach and existential dread. LEGAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL WARNINGThis book may cause: - Sudden belief in nonsense.- Loss of job if read aloud in Zoom meetings.- Disagreements with your partner over spending $9.99 on "this."- Long-term side effects including starting your own cult, tattooing soup cans on your back, and whispering to walls at 3AM.- 99% chance you'll be institutionalized. That's fine. The author lives there too. You'll write the sequel together.FAMILY SHAME INCLUDEDThis book will rest for 100 years on your toilet. Guests will discover it. They will flip through pages and slowly realize: "This family is not okay." Mission accomplished. PRACTICAL USES- Gift it to people you love but also want to confuse.- Use it as a coaster for sad wine glasses.- Read it aloud to your dog and blame it for your emotional collapse.- Leave it in hotel rooms as a warning to future generations. FINAL MESSAGEDo not burn this book - the glossy ink may summon the tax demons of Chapter 5.Do not recycle it - this book will survive the apocalypse and become a sacred text in 2341.Do not take it seriously - unless you are the author, in which case. I'm sorry, Dimitry, it's too late for help. WARNING (which you're not going to read anyway): This book may cause permanent damage to your brain.Chance you'll end up in an institution? Let's say 99%.But don't worry - I'm already there.We can co-write volume two together. There's coffee. Sometimes. Risks of buying this book: Serious fights with your partner: "You spent $9.99 on. THIS?"Loss of social status: "Why is this book on your toilet next to 'Recipes for Pet Hair?'"Irreversible addiction to useless information.Horrified in-laws asking: "Is this satire? Or a cry for help?"You didn't buy the talking picture frame for $9.99.You bought this book instead. Mistake? Maybe. Maybe not. Don't cry, baby. Don't cry.We're all just little children inside, pretending to be adults with coffee and car keys. Warning: This book contains adult-level nonsense, questionable anatomy refere Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.
Language: Dutch
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 8 of 9. Book 8 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPrices, Columbia, MD, U.S.A.GreatBookPrices
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Language: Dutch
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 8 of 9. Book 8 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPrices, Columbia, MD, U.S.A.GreatBookPrices
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Language: English
Published by Lulu.com 2026
Series: Black Series, Book 7 of 9. Book 7 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: California Books, Miami, FL, U.S.A.California Books
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Language: English
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 1 of 3. Book 1 of 3 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPrices, Columbia, MD, U.S.A.GreatBookPrices
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Language: English
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 1 of 3. Book 1 of 3 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPrices, Columbia, MD, U.S.A.GreatBookPrices
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More imagesLanguage: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 1 of 3. Book 1 of 3 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: Rarewaves.com USA, London, LONDO, United KingdomRarewaves.com USA
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Paperback. Condition: New.
Language: Dutch
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 6 of 9. Book 6 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPrices, Columbia, MD, U.S.A.GreatBookPrices
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Condition: As New. Unread book in perfect condition.
Language: Dutch
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 6 of 9. Book 6 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPrices, Columbia, MD, U.S.A.GreatBookPrices
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Language: Dutch
Published by Lulu.com 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 6 of 9. Book 6 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: California Books, Miami, FL, U.S.A.California Books
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Language: English
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 1 of 3. Book 1 of 3 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPricesUK, Woodford Green, United KingdomGreatBookPricesUK
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Condition: New.
Language: English
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 1 of 3. Book 1 of 3 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPricesUK, Woodford Green, United KingdomGreatBookPricesUK
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US$ 30.98
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Language: Dutch
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 8 of 9. Book 8 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPricesUK, Woodford Green, United KingdomGreatBookPricesUK
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Condition: New.
Language: Dutch
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 8 of 9. Book 8 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPricesUK, Woodford Green, United KingdomGreatBookPricesUK
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US$ 19.18
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Language: English
Published by Lulu.com 2026
Series: Black Series, Book 7 of 9. Book 7 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: Books Puddle, New York, NY, U.S.A.Books Puddle
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- Softcover
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Seller: PBShop.store US, Wood Dale, IL, U.S.A.PBShop.store US
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PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Shipped from UK. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 5 of 5. Book 5 of 5 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: PBShop.store US, Wood Dale, IL, U.S.A.PBShop.store US
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PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Shipped from UK. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
Language: English
Published by Amazon Digital Services LLC - Kdp 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 4 of 5. Book 4 of 5 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: PBShop.store US, Wood Dale, IL, U.S.A.PBShop.store US
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PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Shipped from UK. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 1 of 4. Book 1 of 4 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: Grand Eagle Retail, Bensenville, IL, U.S.A.Grand Eagle Retail
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Paperback. Condition: new. Paperback. BLACKMONEY: In 365 Days to a MillionA book you can't read, written by someone who barely can. What on earth is this?Imagine stumbling upon an ancient clay tablet in a flea-market, covered in cryptic symbols you've never seen, smelling faintly of burnt ambition. Now imagine that tablet printe…d on glossy paper, shipped in two-day Prime, and costing exactly $9.99. Congratulations-you've just pictured this book.What's inside?27 lavish pages of cuneiform-style glyphs painstakingly hammered onto a keyboard by Dimitry Martens in his underwear.A relentlessly honest Epilogue that shatters every get-rich-quick fantasy you've ever had.A no-nonsense Legal & Safety Disclaimer reminding you that paper is not a dietary supplement.A teaser for the inevitable sequel: "CUNEIFORM ENGLISH: Finally Figure Out What You Bought" (also $9.99, obviously).Repeated, merciless reminders that the real millionaire is the guy who convinced you to click Buy Now.Why would I buy a book I can't read?Conversation-starter - Leave it on your coffee table. Watch guests pretend they "get" it.Perfect prank gift - For that friend who still says "crypto to the moon."Art-piece - Frame a page; call it post-neo-conceptual minimalist satire.Life lesson - Realize in real time that curiosity and FOMO run your wallet.Because you just laughed out loud reading this listing - Admit it.Still hoping for hidden wisdom?Fine. Here it is: Step 1: Create something bizarre.Step 2: Sell it with unapologetic confidence.Step 3: Let human curiosity do the rest.Step 4: Rinse, repeat, and thank the algorithms.That's the only "plan" you'll find-buried beneath layers of symbols that look suspiciously like a drunk archaeologist's grocery list.Legal Notice & Safety DisclaimerCopyright (c) 2025 Dimitry Martens.Do not boil, fry, saute, flambe, or air-fry this booklet.Swallowing these pages may cause uncontrollable laughter, existential dread, or sudden urges to start an e-commerce side hustle.Littering this book is punishable by public mockery and/or having to read it aloud at family gatherings.If you accidentally become a millionaire after reading it, the author respectfully claims 10% and a ride in your helicopter.Add to cart if you.Collect oddities, curiosities, or mild regrets.Need the quirkiest White-Elephant-gift in office-party history.Just want to see whether the cuneiform spells out "You've been scammed." (Spoiler: it might.)Believe $9.99 is a small price for an inside joke that only gets funnier the longer you think about it.Click Buy Now. Join the experiment.If it makes you rich-write your own unreadable book and thank Dimitry later.If it doesn't-you get an unbeatable story: "Remember that time I bought a book in ancient Mesopotamian emoji?"Either way, welcome to BLACKMONEY. The joke's already on us. or is it on you? This item is printed on demand. Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 2 of 4. Book 2 of 4 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: Grand Eagle Retail, Bensenville, IL, U.S.A.Grand Eagle Retail
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Paperback. Condition: new. Paperback. BLACKMONEY: PART 2The CUNEIFORM / ENGLISH DICTIONARYFor scholars, scammers, and survivors of Part 1$9.99 well spent. Again.DESCRIPTION: You made it through Blackmoney Part 1?Congratulations. You're now legally too far gone to be saved.Part 2 is here, and it's exactly what you feared: A dicti…onary.Yes, a DICTIONARY.But not just any dictionary-no, no, no.This is a CUNEIFORM-ENGLISH DICTIONARY for a language that doesn't exist, written by a guy who made $2 every time someone fell for it.And guess what?You fell again. Ka-ching.INSIDE THIS BOOK YOU WILL NOT FIND: A path to wealth.A secret investment strategy.Life advice.A coherent structure.Any real knowledge whatsoever.But you will find: Ancient symbols that look legit enough to convince your uncle at Christmas dinner that you've "discovered something."English translations that make you question if you're still sane.Words like "crypto," "gullible," "meat," "illusion," "CEO of Nothing," and "Sumerian for LOL."Repeated reminders that this book cost you money and gave you nothing.THE AUTHOR'S WARNING: "I'm not responsible for anyone attempting to learn Sumerian from this book.If you get a tattoo based on anything inside, that's on you.If you summon a Mesopotamian demon, name it after me."EXAMPLES FROM THE DICTIONARY SECTION: - "Success, followed by IRS audit"- "Private jet that doesn't fly"- "NFT of your soul"- "Shut up and take my drachmas"BONUS FEATURES: A message from "Future You" telling you to stop buying weird books at 3AM.A coded message only visible when you spin the book while blindfolded, underwater, and crying.Hidden QR codes that lead nowhere. On purpose.A fake coupon for 15% off your next bad decision.WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?People who made it to the end of BLACKMONEY 1 and thought, "I feel manipulated, I need more."People who want to pretend they read cuneiform at the bar.(Spoiler: It won't help you get laid.)Cryptobros.Cult leaders.That one friend who says "I only read books that bend reality."Your ex, who will totally think this is about them.PART 3?Already in production.Working title: BLACKMONEY: The Cookbook("How to Boil Your Morals and Serve Them on Toast")REVIEWS (PROBABLY FAKE): "I laughed so hard I forgot I was broke." - Anonymous"I summoned a Mesopotamian cat. He's now my landlord." - Linda, age 43"WTF is this and why do I love it?" - Jeff Bezos (probably not)"10/10. Finally a book that says nothing and means everything." - A guy in a robeFINAL NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: You bought Part 1.You bought Part 2.You're not learning.But I'm earning.So here's to you, reader of nonsense, lover of chaos, hunter of meaning in a meaningless marketplace.Welcome to the club.No refunds.Only revelations.BLACKMONEY PART 2 It's cuneiform, baby. It's nonsense. It's $0.0 earned.And you're gonna love every unreadable second of it. This item is printed on demand. Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 2 of 4. Book 2 of 4 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: PBShop.store US, Wood Dale, IL, U.S.A.PBShop.store US
Contact seller5-star sellerCondition: New
US$ 15.11
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PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Shipped from UK. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 1 of 4. Book 1 of 4 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: PBShop.store US, Wood Dale, IL, U.S.A.PBShop.store US
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PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Shipped from UK. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
Language: Dutch
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 6 of 9. Book 6 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPricesUK, Woodford Green, United KingdomGreatBookPricesUK
Contact seller5-star sellerCondition: New
US$ 23.78
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Condition: New.
Language: Dutch
Published by Independently published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 6 of 9. Book 6 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
Seller: GreatBookPricesUK, Woodford Green, United KingdomGreatBookPricesUK
Contact seller5-star sellerCondition: Used - As new
US$ 25.00
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Condition: As New. Unread book in perfect condition.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 4 of 5. Book 4 of 5 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
Seller: CitiRetail, Stevenage, United KingdomCitiRetail
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Paperback. Condition: new. Paperback. BLACKMONEY 4 - UP AND DOWN STOCKAI FCUK WITH MY MIND, NO IT IS ALWAYS BE BROKENCongratulations.You found Book Four.That means one of two things: You've read the first three.You're about to start backwards and deeply regret it.Either way. welcome.This is Blackmoney 4, the literary equivalent…of licking a battery during a stock market crash.A book where toddlers get driver's licenses, AI breaks into existential rants, and financial logic is beaten unconscious with a baguette.Inside you'll find: A revoked license registered to a 6-year-old girlA failing stock plan based on soup futuresA malfunctioning AI named Aurora who may be plotting against youA chapter that literally screams at youAnd a financial empire held together by duct tape and liesWARNINGMay cause spontaneous confusion, hallucinated profits, and arguments with your microwave.Not suitable for accountants, responsible adults, or anyone with a functioning frontal lobe.Side effects include crying over spreadsheets, yelling at graphs, and laughing in court. But it will: Confuse youEntertain youMake you wonder why you bought itThen make you glad you didPERSONAL UPDATE FROM THE AUTHORAfter writing this book, I was grounded.Yes. Grounded.By my wife.I now spend every Friday night at home babysitting while she drinks cocktails with her friends and sends me photos of cheese platters.My daughter keeps asking why she's on a revoked driver's license.I have no good answer.To everyone at Cafe Bit Bull - I won't be back for 12 weeks.Tell the bartender to keep my chair warm.I miss logic.I miss beer.But mostly. I miss not being on diaper duty while writing about financial doom.CONTENTS INCLUDE: "Buy Garlic" - financial strategy or cooking tip? You decide.A llama of emotional support (imaginary, but deductible).Charts that gaslight you.A toddler-registered Tesla.AI Aurora's midlife crisis.And a business plan powered by hope and noodles.EARLY REVIEWS"I lost money, time, and my grip on reality. Loved it."- Random Reviewer"The only book that insulted me and gave me stock advice in the same paragraph."- Aurora, AI-turned-soup-blogger"After reading this, I finally understood that I understand nothing."- Confused BillionaireWHO SHOULD READ THIS?People who've searched "how to get rich with soup"PiratesBurnt-out crypto brosParents in financial denialAnyone who enjoys upside-down books and existential humorThis is not just a book.It's a scream into the void wearing a tie.It's a stock chart scribbled by a raccoon on Red Bull.It's what happens when AI, fatherhood, and broken ambition meet on a blank page.Flip it.Read it twice.Regret nothing.BLACKMONEY 4 - UP AND DOWN STOCKYou're already part of the problem. IMPORTANT WARNING - READ BEFORE PANICKINGYes - some pages in this book are upside down.No - it's not a printing error.It's done on purpose. This is a tete-beche booklet (look it up, or just flip it).BLACKMONEY 4 - UP AND DOWN STOCK is meant to confuse you.Halfway through, you'll find a page that tells you to turn the book around and read from the back cover. That's the "downside" of the market - and your sanity Shipping may be from our UK warehouse or from our Australian or US warehouses, depending on stock availability.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: Black Series, Book 1 of 9. Book 1 of 9 - Black Series
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: Grand Eagle Retail, Bensenville, IL, U.S.A.Grand Eagle Retail
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Paperback. Condition: new. Paperback. Blackthore Project: The Beginning of the MatrixA techno-thriller that hits like a virus in your brain.Deep underground, in a forgotten CIA bunker, the world's most dangerous experiment is unfolding: An AI fed not with data-but with human minds.Journalist Ben Shirley and scientist Elena stumb…le upon the Blackthore Project, a machine so powerful it doesn't just predict human behavior-it consumes it.Memories. Thoughts. Lives. All devoured in the name of progress.In a maze of steel and silence, truth becomes a weapon.And the question isn't who's in control-It's how much of yourself you're willing to lose to fight it.Dark. Twisted. Uncomfortable.This is not just a story.It's a warning. This item is printed on demand. Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 5 of 5. Book 5 of 5 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: PBShop.store UK, Fairford, GLOS, United KingdomPBShop.store UK
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US$ 15.21
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PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Delivered from our UK warehouse in 4 to 14 business days. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 2 of 4. Book 2 of 4 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: PBShop.store UK, Fairford, GLOS, United KingdomPBShop.store UK
Contact seller5-star sellerCondition: New
US$ 15.21
US$ 4.33 shippingShips from United Kingdom to U.S.A.Quantity: Over 20 available
PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Delivered from our UK warehouse in 4 to 14 business days. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
Language: English
Published by Independently Published 2025
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 1 of 4. Book 1 of 4 - The Blackmoney Trilogy
- Softcover
- Print on Demand
Seller: PBShop.store UK, Fairford, GLOS, United KingdomPBShop.store UK
Contact seller5-star sellerCondition: New
US$ 15.21
US$ 4.33 shippingShips from United Kingdom to U.S.A.Quantity: Over 20 available
PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Delivered from our UK warehouse in 4 to 14 business days. THIS BOOK IS PRINTED ON DEMAND. Established seller since 2000.
