Kindling the Flame: Reflections on Ritual, Faith, and Family

Israeloff shares her return to her religious roots after having rejected the organized religion of her parents

In a powerful memoir, Israeloff (Lost and Found) recounts her return to the faith of her childhood. Disenchanted with the Judaism of her parents, Israeloff rejected her religion when she was young. Moving back and forth in time, Israeloff recalls the deep Jewish faith of her parents and grandparents and the lessons they taught her about the strength of faith and family traditions. Yet, from her grandmother she learned that Judaism was a religion of negation ("Don't write, don't run, don't eat that, don't eat too much"), and in ninth grade Israeloff declared to her father: "I'm not going to Friday night services anymore. It means nothing to me. I hate it." However, when she began a family of her own, Israeloff started to ask tentative questions about the place of the Jewish faith in her life. She admits, though, that her practice of Judaism after her marriage was more a concession to her parents than a deeply felt spiritual commitment. "For me to pursue synagogue membership seemed the height of hypocrisy. My sense of God, of spirituality, never jibed with anything I'd heard in any synagogue or from any rabbi." When she was confronted with planning her son's bar mitzvah, Israeloff launched into a re-engagement with the rituals and observances of her faith. Along the way, we are treated to Israeloff's conversations with books and people about the history of Jewish rituals as well as to her wry observations on notions of Jewish exclusivity. Israeloff's lyrical prose evokes moving images of a woman reconnecting to a world in which she once felt a stranger.
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