Losing Your Parents, Finding Your Self : The Defining Turning Point of Adult Life - Hardcover

Secunda, Victoria

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 0786863129 ISBN 13: 9780786863129

Publisher: Hyperion, 2000

Synopsis

In a book that is destined to strike a chord with baby boomers everywhere, journalist Victoria Secunda illustrates how losing a parent has a profound effect on the lives of adults. Drawing from her original study of more than 100 adults as well as her own experiences, Secunda addresses a myriad of issues, such as: How does this event transform relationships with ones siblings, spouse, friends, children, or own identity? Most importantly, Secunda explores how losing a parent dramatically reshapes ones sense of self, causing a re-evaluation of ones life and choices in ways that were not possible before.

About this title

About the Author:

Victoria Secunda is an award-winning author, journalist, and lecturer whose previous books include When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends, Women and Their Fathers, and When Madness Comes Home. Her work has appeared in Harper's Bazaar, Woman's Day, and Glamour. A frequent guest on network television and radio programs, she lives with her husband, photographer Shel Secunda, in Connecticut. Both her parents are deceased.

From Publishers Weekly:

While most writers on parental death focus on mourning, Secunda (When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends) points out that this crucial event fosters major reassessment of one's attitude toward siblings, marriage, children and career. Having surveyed 94 people who have lost parents as adults, and interviewed several of them, as well as experts, she reports that each of the four possible familial pairings (father-son, etc.) has its own pattern, and that the loss of both parents has strong ripple effects. Notably, sibling relationships become primary, although affinities can fluctuate depending on birth order, age and previous closeness. Parental loss leaves many emotionally unmoored; in response, some feel a strong urge to marry, while others solidify or abort marriages, or confront their solitude. More than half of Secunda's respondents found that their relationship with their children changed, mostly for the better, while childless adults often paid new attention to nieces and nephews or became mentors. A significant minority reappraised their careers after their parents' death, leading to redirection, rejuvenation and, in some cases, confusion. More than half of the respondents reported intensified friendships, while some winnowed away those who didn't "add meaning to their lives." Ultimately, Secunda concludes, there is gain in loss. Those who made the most progress as "adult orphans" recognized that "whatever they did or didn't get from their parents now was moot." While hardly definitive, Secunda's survey is a stimulating look at a timely issue. 8-city author tour. (Mar.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About this edition

• Publisher: Hyperion
• Publication date: 2000
• ISBN 10: 0786863129
• ISBN 13: 9780786863129
• Binding: Hardcover
• Edition number: 1
• Number of pages: 368